The Cover
by CaseyL
Summary: Story for the emotionally damaged Deyna shipper. My fantasy for what I'd like to see happen, originally based on some spoilers for the middle of season 3. My take on how there can be drama without other relationships standing in their way.
1. Chapter 1

**There are parts of this story that are based pretty seriously on spoilers, other things are just from my imagination. But if you're not looking to have an idea for what might happen further up the road in the season, you should stay away. All others please enjoy my take.**

##

Rayna sat at the table in the Highway 65 offices. She looked around at the company that she'd built. This was supposed to be her escape from all the trouble in her love life, her refuge from the drama, but it didn't matter how many walls she'd put up. It had seeped in and found her, and now it was oozing out of her into a tape recorder as she stared at the well-mannered man across the table from her.

"What did you ask?" Rayna said as she refocused on him, staring through his glasses into his charcoal colored eyes.

"Were you and Deacon Claybourne back together when you got into the accident last year?"

Rayna blinked a couple of times. Her natural reaction was to stall, or even to lie, but she wanted to be done with all the lying, and she had resigned herself to the fact that she had to answer the writer's questions.

After all, she had signed up for this. She'd wanted to check off another milestone, be on the cover of _Rolling Stone_. She had no one to blame but herself. She cleared her throat, adjusted her hands and dove into the situation head on. "Yes, we were back together at the time of the accident."

"Is that when he found out about your daughter? Is that why he relapsed?"

Rayna nodded her head, but didn't feel like committing her voice to eternal tape.

"If it wasn't for that, for the relapse. Would the two of you still be together today? Is the love story as epic as everyone wants to believe?"

Rayna let out a small laugh, then once again struggled to find words. "This isn't a fairytale. I can't say where we would have been today if he hadn't of drank. All I know is we were happy. I was happy. Maybe happier than I'd ever been, and then in a moment it was all gone."

"Do you still love him?" The reporter could see how uncomfortable this question made her, not that he hadn't already noticed her discomfort. "I mean, I know you're marrying Luke Wheeler, but it's what everyone wants to know."

This time Rayna let go and answered without hesitation, as if this was a question she knew the answer to no matter what, no thought process involved. "I have loved Deacon Claybourne since I was 16 years old, and no matter what happens, that will always be true."

The reporter smiled and nodded, he knew he had his quote, and Rayna knew she was in trouble.

##

All week she'd been on edge. Luke couldn't figure out what was wrong with her, but he kept pressing her, saying she was being distant, different. "You seem more interested in the wedding planning these days than me sugar. Where's this coming from?"

"You're being silly Luke, I'm stressed with all these plans to make. That's what happens when you plan a wedding 6 months after you get engaged. Also, Highway 65 has really been taking up a lot of my time lately. It doesn't have anything to do with you, really."

Luke walked over and kissed her on the cheek. "Well, I'm just glad that profile is done. I was getting tired of seeing that reporter. When is it coming out anyway?"

A wave of anxiety ran through Rayna. "It hits the newsstands on Monday."

##

By the time Monday came around Rayna was a ball of anxiety. The doorbell rang and it was a delivery from _Rolling Stone_. She took the manila envelope from the boy and tipped him. As she pulled the magazine out of the envelope she noticed her hands shaking like a leaf. "Maybe he didn't use it," she thought. "Yeah right." Rayna mumbled to herself. Of course he used it. She just hoped that it was a paragraph hidden somewhere towards the end of the article; something that could be easily skimmed through and overlooked. As she pulled out the copy of the magazine her heart sank. There on the cover wasn't the shot she had approved from the photo shoot two weeks ago. Nope, it was a photo from a concert three or four years ago. She was singing on stage, but she wasn't alone. Her back was pressed against Deacon's and their bodies were turned to sing to each other in the way they always did. Rayna's breath caught in her throat as she saw the headline. "Is Country's Epic Romance Really Over?" Then a sub-headline below under her picture that said "With her wedding to Luke Wheeler only days away, Rayna opens up about her nearly 30 year romance with Nashville's favorite guitar player." She flipped to the first page of the article, and there over a picture of she and Deacon holding each other in a 1994 paparazzi photo was the quote in bold lettering: "I have loved Deacon Claybourne since I was 16 years old, and no matter what happens, that will always be true." – Rayna Jaymes

Rayna felt sick. She sank down onto her front steps just as her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID. "Bucky." She picked the phone up and paused a second, then hit accept. "Hey Buck."

"Have you seen it?"

"Yeah, it just came."

"I thought this was supposed to be about Highway 65 and the resurgence in your career, and maybe a little about the wedding. Where did this come from? Where'd he get the info on you and Deacon?"

Rayna sighed. "From me Buck, but I didn't think, at least I'd hoped he wouldn't make a big deal of it."

"Rayna, it's less than two weeks until your wedding to Luke and you told him all about your relationship with Deacon and how you'll always love him. What reporter wouldn't make _that_ the story?"

"I know, I know. I messed up. You don't have to yell at me."

Bucky quieted down. "Has Luke seen it yet?"

"D'ya think I'd be on the phone right now with you if he had?"

"Good point."

"Oh crap," Rayna exclaimed. "There's his truck right now pulling up the driveway. I gotta go Buck." With that Rayna hung up, ready to face whatever was in front of her.


	2. Chapter 2

Luke had spent the morning working out and riding his favorite horse at his ranch. Around 2:00 he headed over to his managers office to go over the plans for the upcoming leg of his tour that was supposed to start once he and Rayna came back from their honeymoon. When he arrived everyone in the office seemed to be in DEFCON 1 mode.

"Oh, thank god you're here," his manager said. "We have to figure out how we're going to spin this."

"Spin what?" Luke was confused as to what all the fuss was about.

"What do you mean spin what? The goddamn _Rolling Stone_ article. That's what."

"Rayna's article?" The quizzical look that was plastered all over his face keyed the manager in to the fact he hadn't seen it yet.

"Oh man, you haven't seen it?"

"What? Did she take all the credit or something for Ball and Chain? Reveal how much we're spending on the wedding? Whatever it is I'm sure it'll be fine."

The manager raised his eyebrows a minute then grabbed a copy of the magazine and threw it on the table in front of Luke. He watched as Luke's face turned first green, then a shade of crimson he was sure wasn't supposed to be seen in the human body.

Luke stood up grabbing the magazine with greater force than necessary. "For fuck sake! I'll be back. I'm going to handle this."

##

Deacon pulled his truck up in front of his house. He was glad to be home, it had been a strange day and he wasn't entirely sure why. He entered through the kitchen and threw his keys on the counter before beginning to unpack some groceries he'd just picked up at the market. Scarlett wandered in holding a magazine curled up in her hands.

"Hey Scarlett. I've had the strangest day. Everywhere I went people kept pointing at me and whispering. I mean I know I'm kind of famous, but usually people just ignore me unless they want to come up and ask for an autograph or tell me how my guitar playing inspired them. The staring and the pointing, that's new."

"Have you read Rayna's article yet in _Rolling Stone_?"

"Nope, and I'm not going to. I really don't need to read about what type of centerpieces she and Luke are going to have at their 500 person monstrosity of a wedding."

Scarlett inched forward holding the magazine out to him. "I think you should read it. Might solve the mystery about what was going on today."

"Are you kidding me? Did she say something nasty about me in that article? I didn't think Rayna would stoop that low."

Scarlett shook her head. "No, not nasty. More of an…open love letter per se."

"What?" Confusion hit Deacon full force. "Let me see that thing." He grabbed for it and it uncurled in his hand revealing the cover photo and headline. Scarlett watched as he rubbed his face a minute before sitting down on the couch.

"I'll be in my bedroom if you need me." Scarlett said, then headed off to her room.

Deacon held the magazine unopened for a few minutes, just staring at the cover in disbelief, then he took a deep breath and opened up to the article. That's when he saw the quote. _"I have loved Deacon Claybourne since I was 16 years old, and no matter what happens, that will always be true." – Rayna Jaymes_. He ran his fingers over the words a minute just to make sure they were real. The words weren't a surprise to him. He knew they were true, he'd even heard her say almost the same thing to him that day in his house when she'd tried to tell him they were over and she was going to marry Luke. But this, telling it to millions of strangers in bold type face, this was something he didn't expect. Rayna had always been so private, so unwilling to share her feelings with anyone but him, and here she was broadcasting them for the whole world to read, or at least anyone with a subscription to _Rolling Stone_. He wasn't sure why she was willing to tarnish her perfect image of the madly in love country queen who was going to marry the country king, but he was sure as hell going to find out. He leaned back and started into the article.

_Johnny, John, Sid. Men's names that mean nothing without their companions: June, Yoko, and Nancy. These musical love stories were about the women behind the men, but for country legend and Highway 65 owner Rayna Jaymes, it's about the man behind the woman. For nearly thirty years the names Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne have been linked together whether as lovers, band mates, or parents, these two people have been inexorably joined through good and bad. We've seen the photos, heard the love songs, and read the unauthorized biographies, but for the first time ever Rayna opened up to this reporter, sharing the private details of their love, loss, and a bond that no matter how hard it's been shaken, can never be broken. _

Deacon put the magazine down for a second and rubbed his face again. He reached for his phone then thought better of it and put it back down on the table. He picked up the article again and kept reading.

_Ms. Jaymes has had an eventful year from her nearly tragic accident which left her in a coma, to her divorce from the mayor who she'd been married to for 13 years, the big public reveal that Claybourne was her eldest daughter's biological father, a hit record, and finally an engagement to country superstar Luke Wheeler. At 43, it's been a long road from her first CMA nomination at 21; and most of it has been paved with Deacon Claybourne. _

_I've been reporting on the country music scene for nearly 18 years now and have been lucky enough to interview the pair at various stages in their careers. The one thing that had always struck me was the way they looked at each other. When they were in a room together, no matter who else was there, it was always clear that they saw no one else. Just a look, a touch of the hand, a raise of the eyebrow and you knew that they had shared something personal and private that you had no hope of being let in on. _

_Over the past two weeks I was invited to spend time with Rayna as she prepared for her upcoming nuptials to Wheeler. Wheeler was rarely around, and when he was it was clear that this relationship lacks the passion she shared with her prior beau. During a cake tasting I watched Luke walk out of the room not to return, and it was a full ten minutes before Rayna noticed he was gone. No secret language there, no private looks, or furtive glances, just cake and a Rolling Stone reporter that seemed to have more say in the decision than the groom._

_I sat down with Rayna in her Highway 65 offices. What was once buzzing with activity during the day with talks of arena tours and record drops, had faded away to solemn silence except for the sound of the country queen's mellifluous voice. She and Claybourne had always been very private about their relationship, especially during the 13 years she was married to Nashville mayor Teddy Conrad. Despite the whispers that they had maintained their physical closeness throughout the course of her marriage, Rayna denies that they were more than friends in those years. "Oh no, I wouldn't have done that to Teddy. Marriage is important to me. I'm not saying it wasn't hard, but we managed to toe the line physically during my marriage." _

_I wanted to know if the rumors were true, and if she really had been back together with Claybourne once she'd filed for divorce. As she paused to think of her answer, I could tell right away that her private life, especially where Claybourne is concerned, is something she isn't used to discussing with anyone. "Yes, we had found each other again. We'd always been friends, and it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time…to give us another chance to make it work. There were other men who popped up after the divorce, but really no one that was a serious consideration other than Deacon." I asked her how that was after all that time apart, being back together. The dreamy look in her eye revealed even more than her words. "It was wonderful, we were happy. I was happy. Maybe happier than I've ever been, and then in a moment, it was all gone."_

_When she says in a moment it was all gone, Rayna was referring to the accident she and Claybourne were both in last year. Coming home from The Bluebird one night the day after the CMAs their car flipped, leaving Rayna in a coma for nearly two weeks. Claybourne, a recovering alcoholic, was arrested at first for drunk driving, but later it came to light that she was the one behind the wheel. "That was an awful time. I mean, I felt grateful that we were both alive after all that, but it just tore my life apart." _

_I didn't want to push, but I asked if that's when Claybourne found out that Rayna's eldest daughter Maddie was really his, was that why he briefly fell off the wagon after 13 years of sobriety? A hint of tears sprung up in the corner of her eyes and they got that misty sheen. "Yes, I should have told him earlier, the way he found out, which I won't go into, it's just not the way I wanted it to be revealed. He was very shocked on many levels, and he didn't handle it very well. Maybe I didn't either. That night at The Bluebird, I thought I was saving him by getting in that car with him, but I guess that's what ended up destroying us." _

_She said it was she who decided they couldn't go on after that. That he wanted to try to mend things with them, but she just couldn't face what had happened at the time." I asked her if that seemed harsh to her, dropping huge news on someone you loved, then walking away, and she had to excuse herself for a moment as she struggled to hold back the tears. When she returned a few minutes later she had collected herself, but her eyes were clearly red from crying. I decided to leave that question for another time. _

_I did press her to tell me if the accident hadn't happened, if he hadn't relapsed, would they still be together now? At first she was cautious, explaining that you can never really know what would have happened if you'd taken a different path, but she hoped that they would have been. She turned the conversation to Highway 65 saying that "it was something that the two of them had always talked about back in the day, having their own record label, and how without [Claybourne], it sometimes felt a little like a hollow victory."_

Deacon skimmed through a few paragraphs on Highway 65, Rayna's new artists as well as the direction she wants to take both her own career and Juliette's. Then picked it back up in the last couple of paragraphs.

_Rayna talks of her fiancé fondly. "Luke is a wonderful man, he's sweet and caring, and rock solid and stable." Unlike Claybourne? I ask. "Well, Deacon and I have always had a tumultuous relationship. Even when it was at it's best it could be a bit of a roller coaster. We loved each other so much, and there was always a lot of passion there, but sometimes that passion could go either way. Big love and big fights is what we used to call it. I attributed a lot of it to the drinking when we were together, but he's just as pig headed when he's sober so…the band heard many years of "discussing" things loudly." This makes Rayna smile in an authentic way I hadn't seen since I'd first started profiling her two weeks earlier. As the sun set over downtown Nashville, and the conversation wound down, there was really only one question left to ask. Do you still love him? This may be the only thing she answered without hesitation. "I have loved Deacon Claybourne since I was 16, and no matter what happens, that will always be true." And I guess that's all there is to know. _


	3. Chapter 3

As Luke got out of his car he seemed to be calm enough, but then Rayna noticed the copy of the magazine in his hands. She continued to sit on her front steps, feeling like it was better to hunker down than stand up for the inevitable fight she knew was coming.

He walked over and stopped in front of her kicking the dirt a little with his boot.

"I'm guessing you saw the article?" Rayna said trying to get straight to the heart of the matter.

"Please tell me that this hack reporter made all this stuff up, and that you didn't say these things about Deacon."

Rayna sat silently for a moment, then responded in a voice that seemed much quieter than her normal one. "He didn't make anything up Luke. I said those things."

Luke shifted his weight to the other boot. "I don't understand Rayna. If you feel all those things that you said in the article, if you still love him, why the hell did you pick me all those months ago when he gave you the chance? I asked you over and over again if the two of you were done, and you said yes. But reading this article, this doesn't seem like done Rayna."

Rayna looked up, tears once again streaming down her face. "I don't know, I was scared I guess. He and I, we're just too much sometimes you know. We're too passionate, too much in love, we lose ourselves in each other, and in the past it hasn't ended well, I was scared that it would be the same way this time."

"So you picked me, the safe option, the man who you're not passionate about, who doesn't make you feel butterflies when I walk in a room?"

"I love you Luke, I do, but he's a part of me that isn't ever going away."

Luke laughed to himself realizing that he could no longer deny the thing he suspected was lurking just below the pretty polished surface of Rayna since he'd met her.

"Even if you felt that way Rayna, why tell that reporter? Why embarrass me in that way in front of 5 million people who read that goddamn magazine."

Luke waited for an answer, but Rayna just looked down and shook her head. "Give me it back," he said

"What?" She asked looking up with confusion.

"The goddamn ring Rayna. Give it back to me."

Rayna looked down at the ring a moment on her hand.

"You don't think I'm actually going to marry you after this do you?

Rayna looked down again and shook her head. Then she slid the ring off her finger and handed it back to Luke.

"I never meant to hurt you Luke. I really didn't, but we both know it hasn't been working out the way that we hoped it would. The kids are miserable and acting out, you and I are rarely on the same page about anything anymore. It's just never felt right. Maybe we should just stop trying to pretend like it'll all be okay when we get married. I've already done that."

"So what? This was your hail Mary? Your attempt to break things off before you made another marriage mistake? You didn't have the guts to just talk to me about it?"

Rayna looked away embarrassed. "I told you I'm sorry. I didn't intend to tell him about Deacon and I, but he was going to write about Maddie, and all the trouble she's been getting in lately, and he said he wouldn't do that if opened up about Deacon."

"You could have lied you know. You could have told him what he wanted to hear without making me look like a fool."

"I'm done lying Luke. I lived my life for 13 years afraid of a lie, I'm not going to do it anymore." Rayna wiped a tear away from her cheek. "What should we tell the press?"

"I think there's very little to say after that article, but my team will handle it. I think your team has already done enough."

Luke stuck the ring in his pocket and threw the magazine down at Rayna's feet. "Nashville is a small town, I'm sure I'll be seeing you, but I'd appreciate it if you'd keep a wide birth."

Rayna nodded her head as she watched Luke hop back in his truck and peel out of the driveway. Rayna stood up and headed back into the house. She curled up on the couch and once again started crying.

##

A couple of hours later when Maddie and Daphne came home from school, Rayna was still curled up on the couch.

"Is everything okay mom?" Daphne asked.

Rayna sat up and wiped her eyes. "It's fine babies, but come sit down. I have some news. There isn't going to be any wedding next week. Luke and I aren't getting married."

"Is that because of what you said about dad in the article?" Maddie asked.

"Oh, so you read that?"

"Yeah, it was being passed around my high school. Everyone wanted to know if you and dad are going to get back together."

Rayna sighed. "Well you can tell them that's none of their business."

"It's our business though right?" Daphne asked.

"Of course sweet girl, but right now I don't even know what Deacon thinks of all this, but I'll be sure to keep you ladies updated if anything changes okay?

"Okay."

The girls ran up to their rooms to work on their homework, talk on the phone, and whatever else pre-teen and teen girls do on a Monday afternoon. Business as usual in the Jaymes/Conrad/Claybourne household.

##

A couple of days later the girls were at school and Bucky had called letting her know everything was running smoothly at the label during her week long sabbatical. She was supposed to be taking this time off to get things ready for the wedding, but now it was just a regrouping of sorts. She was working on a song in her house when she decided she needed some fresh air. She hopped in the car and drove to the only place she could think to go where she knew she'd find peace and solace.

She pulled up by the bridge and parked her car, careful to climb over the old stone wall. She saw him from behind almost the moment she landed on the dirt. He was sitting there on the picnic table just the way he always was. She paused for a moment not sure what she'd say when she reached him, but then she took a deep breath and walked on.

"Hey," she said as she sat down next to him on the table.

He glanced to the side at her without really turning his head. "Hey."

"How long have you been sitting here?"

"Oh, about twenty-minutes I guess. I've been coming here a lot lately, mostly to think."

"Yeah, that's why I came too. It reminds me of when we were kids. Do you think our initials are still carved in that old tree over there?"

"We carved 'em with a knife Ray. If the tree's still there, the initials are still there."

Rayna laughed. "Of course, how silly of me." She got quiet a minute, then when she saw he wasn't going to speak… "Did ya read the article?"

"Did anyone in Nashville not read that article? I feel like everywhere I went the last few days someone was either shoving it in my face or had a copy tucked under their arm. If you wanted to sell magazines you sure found a way to do it."

"Deacon, I didn't…I didn't know that's what the article was going to be about."

"But you told the reporter those things?"

"Yes, but, I told him a lot of other things too. Are you mad at me?"

"I'm just confused Rayna. Back in the day when we were kids we made a pact that we would never air our dirty laundry in the press. No talking about our relationship. When that guy called me to discuss you and me I hung up on him, cause that's what we said we'd do. So, why the desire to share now? Why'd you want to talk to _him_ about this instead of talking about it in private with me?"

"I don't know, it just all came spilling out. I didn't mean for it to cause so much trouble." Rayna reached out and put her hand on top of Deacon's. He looked down where they made contact making an observation. "No ring anymore, huh?"

"Yeah, he took that back soon as he saw the article. It was a mistake. I've known it for months, but you know me, I'm was too goddamn stubborn to admit it."

"Like that time we drove all the way to Ashville instead of Atlanta cause you didn't want to admit you'd taken the wrong exit while I was asleep?"

"Ashville was beautiful that time of year. It was more of a happy accident than a mistake." Rayna smiled and squeezed his hand. All of a sudden she notice that Deacon was crying and the smile faded away from her face and was replaced with a look of concern. "You really hurt me you know?" he said still staring out at the water.

Rayna nodded her head. "I thought that if I could just pull it together, and be that guy, get over my addictions, not let them hold me back anymore. If I could get to that place that we'd be able to be together. The one thing in life I've always been sure about is that you loved me, and if I could just be that guy that you wanted, everything would be okay, but I am that guy Rayna. I was that guy five months ago when I proposed, when I reached out for you, trusting that you'd be there to take my hand, the way I've always trusted that you'd be there for me, and you weren't. You let me fall. You chose another man over me. I understood all those years ago with Teddy. I was a mess back then, but now? I just don't get it Rayna."

Tears slowly slid across Rayna's cheeks glistening as they dripped to the table. "I was scared. I'm still scared."

"So am I Ray, but that doesn't mean that I would have given up on us. You gave up on me, I'm just not sure I can come back from that with us."

Rayna leaned into him wrapping her hands around his arm and pulling him close. She rested her head on his shoulder while she ran her thumb and forefinger over his bicep. "I'm with someone else right now Ray you know that."

"I know, I'm not asking you for anything. I know being engaged to Luke all these months has put a strain on our relationship. I know it's been hard where Maddie's been concerned, but I don't want it to be like that anymore. All I'm asking right now is that we work as a team again, you and me, raising our daughter like we talked about. Whatever else comes of it, well that's just for the future to know and us to find out. Okay?"

Deacon looked down at her and kissed the top of her head. "Okay." Then he turned back to the water and the two of them sat in silence for the next hour watching the winter breeze play with the currents in the river.


	4. Chapter 4

**Glad everyone is liking this story. Thanks for the reviews! I only hope that it goes somewhere close to this way by mid-season. **

##

Deacon sat at the piano scribbling down notes in between the chords he played that were coming out of his head and through his fingers. Pam had showed up an hour ago for a mid-day quicky. He found there was something kind of nice about this casual relationship. No drama, no expectations, just a lot of fun when it was convenient for both of them. Right now she stood behind him in one of his old t-shirts humming along to the melody Deacon was creating.

The phone rang and he leaned over to pick it up. "Hey sweetheart," he answered as soon as he saw "Maddie" on the caller ID.

"Dad, I'm going to get to sing on a tour."

"Wait, what? I thought your mom and I decided you were too young for that. You have to finish school first."

"It's not a whole tour, just a weekend. Mom said I couldn't sign with Edgehill, but she would take me on tour with her this weekend in Philly and let me be one of her opening acts."

"That's amazing. I'm sure you'll be fabulous."

"Will you come?"

"To Philly?"

"Yeah, I know you've been busy with Luke's tour, but you're on hiatus right now, and I thought maybe you could get away?"

"Well, I had this thing on Saturday, but you know what, I'll cancel. I'll be there."

"I'm so glad."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Deacon hung up the phone with a gigantic grin on his face.

"What?" Pam asked.

"My little girl. She's really growing up. She's playing this weekend up in Philly. I'm going to go book a hotel room."

"I thought we were taking that motorcycle of yours to the Smokies?"

"Yeah, I know, but my daughter only sings at her first tour once. You're not mad are you?"

Pam shook her head and gave him a devilish grin. "I'll find someone else to occupy my time."

##

Two days later Deacon was stepping off of Rayna's private plane with she and Maddie in tow. "Thanks for bringing me along Ray. I really appreciate it."

"Do you think for a second that I'd leave you at home? I would have never heard the end of it from that one." Rayna pointed at an exuberant Maddie who was already running ahead chatting with Sadie who'd also hitched a ride.

"No Teddy?" Deacon asked looking around.

"No, he had a big meeting, plus Daphne had a gymnastics meet this weekend and couldn't come, so it's just our little family." Deacon liked the sound of that much more than he was willing to admit. He gave Rayna a little smile. "What?" She asked smiling back. "Oh nothing, just looking forward to the weekend that's all."

"Good, cause your daughter won't shut up about it."

"It is kind of a big deal Ray. Do you remember the first time we played a stadium?"

"Uh huh, and it sure wasn't when we were 15. I was lucky to get into a honky tonk when I was that age."

"I was playing a beat up old guitar behind the Piggly Wiggly trying to impress Suzie Woodward when I was 15."

"Did it work?"

"It got you didn't it? What do you think?"

Rayna laughed, "I don't want to know."

##

Maddie was out on the stage tuning her guitar during the sound check. Deacon was standing in the corner giving her pointers.

"Make sure your ears are working honey, it gets loud in here and you want to be able to hear yourself."

"I know dad, I've been around while mom has performed. This isn't my first time at the rodeo."

Deacon laughed at her turn of phrase.

"What?' She asked, slightly offended.

"Nothing, it's just good to see you up there. You look just like you belong." Deacon had never been so proud of anyone in his whole life. The closest he could think of was the first time Rayna played a stadium show, but he had been backing her up then. He'd be in the audience for Maddie's show, or at least in the wings. "Where is your mama anyway?"

"Talking to the press. She had an interview scheduled with the local station, but she said it would be okay cause she knew you'd be here with me if I had any questions during sound check."

Deacon smiled, it was nice to know that Rayna trusted him with Maddie, even if it was just for the small stuff. Maddie started in playing her first song, a mid-tempo song she'd written with Deacon called "I Can't Sleep Tonight." It was the one that she'd posted to You Tube so she felt like people would be expecting her to sing it. She couldn't believe that she had to think about these things now. She was trying to be as professional as possible. She'd lamented over her set list even though she was only playing three songs. She was also trying not to feel nervous, but she noticed her hand shaking a bit as she was tuning her guitar in between songs. Deacon noticed and walked up on stage next to her. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "You're going to be great. You come from a whole family of pros, but your mama and I were nervous the first time we played too."

Maddie looked up at him. "How'd you get past that?"

"You know what, we just concentrated on the music. When you have a passion for the music, everything else just slips away." Maddie leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. Deacon turned a little red then walked back to where he'd been standing. This had been a tough year, but it finally felt like it was beginning to turn around.

##

Before anyone knew what was going on it was a few hours later and the real show was starting. Maddie was all dressed, teenage appropriate make up on her face, and her first pair of really high heels. She was standing on the side of the stage holding her guitar. Deacon and Rayna were standing beside her. "You're going to be fine sweet girl," Rayna said encouraging her.

"I know mom. I'm fine. Deacon already gave me a pep talk." Maddie waved Rayna off as her name was announced and she headed out onto the stage. Deacon stepped forward so he was side by side with Rayna, shoulders practically touching. He could tell that Rayna was breathing a little heavier than normal. "You okay Ray?"

Rayna continued to watch Maddie while she performed in front of the 20,000 fans in the stadium. "I'm fine, it's just…I can't believe our baby is old enough to be out there. Wasn't it just us out there for the first time?"

Deacon reached over and took Rayna's hand in his giving it a little squeeze. The touch of his hand was comforting at a time when everything felt like it was spinning out of control a little. In fact his touch had always been the one thing that would comfort her no matter what. "It was, but now it's her turn Ray. Would you really want to go back to then? We were so young and naïve. I don't know about you, but I'm a lot smarter now."

Rayna looked over and flashed him a smile. "I know there was a lot about that time that was rough, but it was also so exciting. When we thought we didn't need anything but the music and each other."

Deacon breathed in deeply, unsettled a bit by the thought. "Yeah, I remember some of those nights." He let go of Rayna's hand, not wanting to drift too far out of the comfort zone they had created recently. Memories of sweat soaked sex sessions interspersed with sheet music was a little too dangerous for his liking.

As Maddie exited the stage, Rayna and Deacon could tell that she'd caught the bug, and that she'd never lose that desire to perform. It was in her eyes and written all over her face, but they guessed that they should have expected that since it was also in her blood. "That was so amazing!" Maddie gushed. Deacon took her into his arms giving her a bear hug. "Your mama's got to go on stage for her show, but why don't you come down front with me and we can watch from there. "Actually dad a couple of members of the other opening band are hanging out a bit before the after party, I told them I'd hang out with them. I've seen mom sing a thousand time."

Deacon was a little disappointed, but he realized that Maddie was growing up and he needed to let her go out on her own a bit. "Okay, but I'll catch you later at the after party. Your mom and I have a gift for you."

Maddie ran off down the hall. "Great, see you then."

##

An hour and a half later Deacon was heading over to the hotel where the after party was happening. He looked around for Maddie but didn't see her at first. Rayna was still over at the stadium changing and chatting with some radio execs who wanted to talk about Highway 65 air time. He found one of the members of the other band chatting with a reporter from _Country Weekly_. "Hey, have you seen Maddie anywhere?"

The girl looked over at Deacon pausing her conversation. "You mean the girl who went on after us?"

"Yeah, that's her."

"I think she went up to her room, I saw her leave a while ago with Tom."

This unnerved Deacon a bit, he didn't like the idea of Maddie going off with strange guys named Tom. "Tom, who's Tom?"

"He's a friend of Jim's."

Deacon raised his eyebrows a little and rubbed his face in frustration. "And Jim would be?"

"Our drummer. I think they're in the room over there." The girl pointed to a side room off of the ballroom where they were standing. Deacon walked over and looked inside. It was a small, slightly dark room with large glass windows that had a beautiful view of downtown Philadelphia. The room was mostly empty expect for a couple that was making out. Never the one for what was or wasn't appropriate Deacon walked over and tapped the guy on the shoulder. "Hey!"

Slightly annoyed the guy stopped kissing the girl who was practically on his lap and looked up at Deacon. "Hey man, can't you tell we're busy here?"

"Are you Jim?"

"Yeah, I'm Jim."

"Have you seen Maddie? I think she went somewhere with Tom."

"Oh yeah, the brunette chick with the pretty voice. They left a couple of minutes ago, Tom was taking her back to his room to lie down. She wasn't feeling too well."

"To his room?!" Deacon's heart started to beat faster. "What number?"

"Um, 304 I think."

"Great, thanks." Deacon beelined for the elevator. When it wouldn't come fast enough, he headed for the stairwell and bounded the concrete steps two at a time. When he reached the third floor he ran out down the hall. Just as he rounded the corner he saw them. Tom was trying to get the key to his room out of his pocket but he was having a little difficulty because he was also trying to hold Maddie up at the same time. The second Deacon saw her he recognized the telltale signs. She was drunk. "Maddie Conrad! What are you doing?"

Maddie could barely walk, but she half-heartedly looked up when she heard her father's voice. "Hey man," Tom said. "I was just trying to get her to sleep it off. She your daughter?"

"Yeah, and I'll handle this from here." Deacon walked over to Maddie and wrapped her arm around his shoulders so he was supporting her weight. "Hi dad. I don't feel well."

"Yeah, I could tell. Do you have your room key sweetie?"

Maddie fumbled around in her back pocket. She patted it when she felt the key card. "Yep."

"Penthouse 2 right?" Maddie nodded her head in response.

Deacon got her into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor. When they go there he slipped the key card out of her back pocket and let the two of them into the suite. The moment he got her in the door Maddie leaned over. "I think I'm going to be sick." She took a deep breath and ran for the bathroom. Deacon pulled out his phone and hit the speed dial for Rayna.

"Hey," Rayna answered. "Where are you guys?"

"Up in your suite."

"What are you guys doing up there, I thought we were going to celebrate at the party."

"Well let's just say Maddie started doing some celebrating without us."

"What does that mean?"

"She's drunk Ray."

"I'll be right there." Rayna hung up the phone and sprinted to the elevator and back to her room. When she got there she found Maddie still in the bathroom and Deacon holding her hair back as she vomited.

"Oh boy young lady, you are so going to get it tomorrow when you feel better."

"Who are you kidding Ray, it's going to be a couple of days before she feels better."

"Well she better feel well by tomorrow cause she's performing tomorrow night whether she feels good or not. That's what it means to be a professional."

"Come on mom," Maddie got out between communes with the toilet. "Don't yell so loud." Rayna took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the tub. She gave Deacon a look that said she couldn't believe she was having to go through this kind of thing again…of course this time it was with their daughter instead of him. She wasn't sure which was worse.

"I think that's the last of it for her. Come on sweetie, let's get you cleaned up and into bed." Deacon washed Maddie's face off for her, then he lifted her up and carried her into her bedroom. "Your mom and I will be in the other room if you need us okay?" Maddie nodded her head ok then promptly passed out on the pillow. Deacon kissed her forehead then softly closed the door behind him. When he came out a distraught and exhausted looking Rayna was standing there. "She's going to be alright Ray, and we'll have the talk with her in the morning, but right now we need to get some sleep."

Deacon started heading for the door of the suite. Rayna grabbed his arm. "Will you stay? I want you to be here when she wakes up. Plus I think I need some support if anything happens during the night."

Deacon nodded his head. "I can bunk on the couch."

"No need. It's a small couch. There's plenty of room in the bed." Deacon paused for a second unsure this was a good idea, but then he acquiesced. The duo walked into the second bedroom and kicked off their shoes, then they laid down on opposite sides of the bed. They both turned so they were facing inward towards each other. "I know you seem calm, but I can see it in your eyes babe, don't worry, she'll be fine."

"I know, at least tonight she will be, but what if..." Deacon trailed off.

"Getting drunk once when you're 15 with friends doesn't make you an alcoholic Deacon. We have to tell each other that. We can't treat her like she's been through what you have."

"I know, it just worries me that's all."

"Me too, but all we can do right now is hope for the best and be her support system so she doesn't feel like alcohol is an option she wants to choose."

Deacon smiled at Rayna. "I'm glad you're here Ray. I'm glad we're going through this together."

"Me too Deacon. There isn't anyone else I'd rather be going through this with than you."

Deacon leaned over and kissed her forehead lightly. "We should get some sleep. We're going to need to be well rested when we talk to her tomorrow."

Rayna reached over and turned off the lights, then she rolled over and snuggled into Deacon. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close tucking her head underneath his chin. As the clock hit 1:00am they both drifted off. Despite the harrowing night, it was the best sleep either one had gotten in months.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thought it was time for a slightly fluffier chapter.**

##

Rayna sat in her car on route 40. She was stuck in traffic again on the way to the Highway 65 offices. "When are they going to be done with that damn construction," she thought to herself. She turned on the radio and settled in for a long commute.

It had been a week since Philly. They'd had a long talk with Maddie in the morning, and she had been grounded since then. It had been more than an eventful weekend jam packed with ups and downs, but the one thing that Rayna couldn't get out of her head was that night sleeping in Deacon's arms. She could still feel the heat of his body as it was pressed against hers, smell his scent that always drove her wild. She was lost in thought when the woman behind her honked. "Sorry" Rayna waved as she inched forward five feet, but she still couldn't get how good it felt to be near him out of her mind. She'd wanted to pull him closer, hell she wanted to do a lot of things to him that wouldn't have been appropriate with their daughter in the room next door. "Damn it," she thought out loud. "Why'd he have to be so sexy?"

She let her thoughts drift again, this time further back to the last time they'd made love the morning before the CMAs, now over a year ago. It was one of the first times she'd let herself wander back there in her mind. For so long she had done her best to block out the memories of those few short months they'd been back together. He'd woken her up in the morning, peppering kisses on her shoulder and back, snaking his arm around her stomach and pressing against her. He managed to get out an "I love you," in between planting kisses on her neck that sent waves of heat through her whole body.

"I love you too," she cooed back. Deacon turned her body beneath his so he was hovering over her. Then he brushed the hair away from her face. "I don't want to hide anymore baby. I want everyone to know that you're mine. Let's go to the CMAs together." Rayna looked up into his baby blue eyes and she realized there was nothing more that she wanted in the world. "Let me just tell the girls, but yes, it's a date."

"Good, I'll be there at 6:30 to pick you up." Deacon's smile couldn't be bigger and she could still feel his joy as he covered her mouth with his and slid his hands down her body and under her ass so that she was pressed flush against him. Rayna remembered feeling him inside of her, how close to him she felt at that moment. How she thought they'd never have to be separated again. Now she didn't even know if Deacon wanted her back.

Just at that moment Dolly Parton's _Will He Be Waiting for Me_ came on the radio and it was more than Rayna could handle. The tears slid freely down her face at the realization of how much she missed Deacon, and how unsure she was that she's ever have a chance with him again.

The lyrics to the song cut a little too close to home.

_I can still see that lonesome road stretched out before me  
>The road that led me out of his life<br>I can still feel the tears he cried on my shoulder  
>The day that I told him good-bye<em>

_I never should'a left him_  
><em>Never should'a gone<em>  
><em>Oh what a crazy fool I've been<em>

She cursed herself for being so scared when he'd shown up at her door all those months ago. Hiding with Luke wasn't a solution for anyone, and just made everything so much worse.

_He will be waiting for me  
>He will be, won't he<br>Or could it be his love for me has faded and has died  
>He will be waiting for me<br>He will be, won't he  
>Or will I find that this time<br>I'll be the one to cry_

Once again Rayna was woken from her revelry by a honk. She wiped the tears from her face and drove on into whatever it was ahead for her. She knew that whatever was in her future, she was the one who'd gotten herself into this mess.

##

Deacon was up at the cabin. He needed a couple of days to clear his head. He knew that all teenagers experimented with alcohol, Maddie wasn't unusual, but he just worried about her more since she had his blood running through her veins. Maddie apologized in the morning through the pain of her hangover and promised to never do it again, but he knew that he and Rayna and Teddy couldn't always be there to make sure that she stuck to that promise. This is what kept him up at night. Well that and the thoughts of Rayna that were still running through his head.

When she'd chosen Luke over him back in May, Deacon was sure that he'd never hold her again, but there he was holding her close all through the night as their daughter slept off her vodka induced haze in the room next door. It had been such a rough night it was really just for comfort, or at least that's what he told himself. He tried not to think about how excited it was making him to feel her skin rubbing against his, how her hair always smelled like lilacs after a rain.

This was all too much for him. She was overwhelming his senses and she wasn't even here at the moment. Deacon headed outside and grabbed a ladder from his tool shed, then he proceeded to climb up to his roof to clear the gutters. He tried to distract himself, but being at the cabin, the place that he'd bought for Rayna, that he'd thought they were going to grow old in, it was too distracting. He rested his head on the edge of the roof and sighed. He had tried to push it down, but the ache in his heart was still there. He could try to deny it, but it wouldn't do any good. He knew he still wanted her, wanted to live his life with her, make dinner with her, drive the kids to school with her, hell, he even wanted to do the laundry with her. All those mundane things, he still wanted them, and he wanted them with her. He also couldn't 100% get passed what had transpired in the last few months. He knew Rayna loved him, and knew her well enough to know that she'd just been scared when she'd chosen Luke, but that didn't make it hurt any less. As he climbed back down and sat on the front porch he realized that he was willing to still fight for them, but Rayna had to ask him to fight this time. He wasn't willing to do it alone anymore. If she wanted them to work she needed to let him know that.

Deacon looked out at the lake and remembered the first summer they'd spent up here. He'd bought a canoe and they were out in the middle of the lake, Rayna in the front and Deacon in the back. She was shirking her rowing responsibilities and was just stretching herself out in the polka dot bikini she'd recently bought. "Hey up there, not complaining about the view, but maybe you want to help me row so we're not stuck out here all day. Rayna flashed her 1000-karat smile at him, the one that always got him right in the heart no matter where they were. "I need to work on my tan so I don't look all pasty up on stage."

"Darlin' you could never look pasty. Don't get me wrong, I love watching you stretch out like that, especially in that little bikini, but we're never going to make it back to shore at this rate."

"Why are you in such a hurry?"

"Did I not mention I was thoroughly enjoying the view of you in that little bikini?"

Rayna laughed. "Big strong man, I think you can get us back to shore on your own."

A wicked smile appeared on Deacon's face. "Or maybe we should just swim." Deacon flipped the boat surprising Rayna as they both ended up in the lake. When they popped up she was screaming and he was just watching her laughing. She swam over to him half heartedly hitting him. "I can't believe you Deacon Claybourne. I could have drowned."

"Baby, you are one of the best swimmers I know, and besides, I would have saved you." Deacon pulled her into his arms until she was pressed against him. The lake wasn't very deep so he was able to stand and still keep both of their heads above water. Rayna wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. "I am a good swimmer, but I'm still mad at you." Deacon leaned in and kissed her first softly and then more passionately as the kiss deepened. He pulled back for a second. "How about now?"

"Well, maybe a little less mad. Let me see if I can forgive you all together." Rayna pulled Deacon's head towards hers once again capturing his mouth with her own. As he felt her tongue battle with his, he could feel himself starting to get excited. He untied the back of her bikini and let it float off as he swam them to a place on the edge where a rock both secluded them and provided a hard surface.

Deacon smiled to himself as he remembered that it was months before they found the top of that bikini. Then he shook his head trying to get rid of the image of her 25-year-old body naked on the rock as they both sunned themselves in the nude for the rest of the day. "Man," Deacon said to himself as he rubbed the scruff on his face. "I need a better distraction."

Deacon headed in and picked up his guitar. He strummed a few chords as he spent the rest of the day writing a song. It was a good distraction; of course it was also a song about a girl in a purple polka dot bikini.


	6. Chapter 6

**This is my stab at incorporating the Deacon's illness spoiler that's coming up**.

##

Deacon was nursing a headache all day long. He'd taken some Advil, but he couldn't seem to shake the throbbing in his head and the slight queasiness that had appeared along with it. He walked into his house and threw his keys on the counter, then he stripped off his flannel so he was just wearing his t-shirt and lay back on his bed.

A couple of hours later he woke up, headache still ever present. He looked at the clock. Only 8:30. He got up and stumbled to the kitchen pouring himself a glass of water, then he reached again for the bottle of Advil, but this time the pills never made it to his mouth. Somewhere between opening the bottle and picking up the glass of water Deacon collapsed, landing with a thud on the cold terra cotta tile floor.

##

Scarlett walked in the door around 9:30. She'd been having dinner with a fellow songwriter she'd met a few days earlier. The conversation had been creative and energetic, but left her exhausted and all she wanted to do was curl up in front of the TV with a cup of hot chocolate. The lights were on, but Deacon was nowhere to be seen. She walked into her room and changed into a big fluffy robe and slippers before heading into the kitchen to grab the coco. What she found instead startled her.

Deacon was face down in the middle of the kitchen, water glass shattered around him. She kneeled down to wake him, but he was clearly down for the count, and his nose had hit the tile splattering blood on the floor. She ran to her purse grabbing her phone and quickly dialed 911.

On the way to the hospital she thought about calling Rayna and telling her to bring Maddie just in case, but then she thought better of it. Deacon had been depressed lately with everything going on with Rayna and Luke. She knew the wedding had been called off, but there was still a chance that he'd reached for a bottle again in his unsteady state. She put her phone back in her bag hoping this wasn't a repeat of a year ago.

##

Scarlett sat in the waiting room at the hospital clutching a Styrofoam cup. The watery coco from the hospital vending machine wasn't quite living up to her expectations of the drink. As she took another sip a tall thin man wearing spectacles came into the waiting room. "Deacon Claybourne's family."

"That's me," Scarlett said raising her hand.

"Ms. Claybourne."

"Actually it's O'Connor."

He nodded his head. "Ms. O'Connor. You're uncle is awake and is just getting the cut on his head bandaged up."

"Was he drinking?"

"No, his tox screen came back negative, but his blood work is another matter."

"What do you mean?"

"He has cirrhosis meaning that his liver is scared over."

"What does that mean?"

"It's complicated. I've already talked this over with Deacon, he understands the serious ramifications of this."

"Well, he's already stopped drinking so what else can he do?"

"Not much. We'll put him on some meds, and go through some therapies, but eventually he's going to need a transplant."

Scarlett felt a tightening in the pit of her stomach. "How long before he needs that?"

"Considering the seriousness of his condition…I'd say six months to a year."

"And if he doesn't get the transplant?"

The doctor just shook his head making the tightening in her stomach do full on flip flops. "Can I see him?"

"Yes of course. He's in room 260."

##

Scarlett walked in and sat in the chair next to Deacon's bed. His eyes were closed and he had a bandage on his forehead but he opened his eyes when she took his hand.

"Hey there, sorry to scare you like that." Deacon said in a voice far shakier than his normal husky tone.

Scarlett rubbed the top of his hand. "It's okay. The doctor spoke to me before I came in."

"Yeah, looks like the drinking finally caught up with me."

A tear started to roll down Scarlett's cheek. "Yeah."

"Hey, no feeling sorry for me, okay. I did this to myself."

"He said six months."

Deacon breathed deeply. "Yeah, looks like my future ain't so rosey, huh?"

"The doctor did say you're on the transplant list, and I'm gonna be tested to see if I'm a match."

"No Scarlett."

"What do you mean no?"

"You are not putting yourself in danger for me."

"Deacon, a lot of people donate pieces of their liver, I'll be fine."

"I said no, and that's final. And I don't want anyone else knowing either."

"Well you're going to tell Rayna and Maddie right?"

"I don't want them feeling sorry for me. They'll know when it's time, but not now."

"Deacon, she's your daughter you have to prepare her."

"And I will, but it's up to me to decide when it's the right time to do that."

Scarlett was unsure that she should trust him in this, but she knew better than to push it right now.

##

A few days later Deacon was back at home sorting through some boxes of his belongings. He'd never been the orderly type, but he didn't want to leave all this for Scarlett to deal with after he was gone. He pulled down one from the top of his closet that was marked "Rayna." He sighed as he flipped through a series of photos of the two of them in happier days, as well as an ID bracelet that said "Forever" that matched one he'd given Rayna for her 18th birthday.

He slid the cool metal on his arm. It felt strange but familiar to have it back on his wrist. It had lived there for nearly 10 years, and in all honesty at the time, he never thought he'd take it off. He slipped it back over his hand and placed it in a new box marked "For Maddie."

He started sorting through his record collection pulling out ones he wanted to pass on to his daughter. On each carefully chosen record he placed a sticky with a little note such as "Play _Dust My Broom _when you're feeling the blues, it's the song that got me into slide guitar." Sadness overcame Deacon as he realized he wouldn't be there for most of the big moments in Maddie's life. He knew post-its with a bit of advice were a poor consolation prize for having your father there when you really needed him.

As he placed the Elmore James record into the box he heard a knock on the door followed by a "Hello." He turned around to see Rayna standing in the living room framed by a ray of light coming through the doorway. His heart skipped a beat despite his better judgment. "Hey Ray, what's up?"

Rayna walked in and perched herself on the arm of his couch. "I don't know. Haven't seen much of you this week. I thought I'd see how you were doing."

"Fine, I guess."

"What ya up to?"

"Just sorting through my records." Deacon covered up the box so Rayna couldn't see what he was really doing.

"Maddie's been complaining all week about being locked in the house. I keep telling her the more she complains the more likely I am to extend the punishment."

"Yeah, she's been texting me complaints as well." Deacon turned back to pulling out some of his favorite vinyl.

Rayna wasn't sure why she was feeling so awkward. She and Deacon had been closer than two people could possibly be for the last thirty years, there was nothing she couldn't share with him, no look of his she couldn't read, no sigh of hers he couldn't decipher.

Finally she pushed aside the awkwardness. "Babe, can we talk a moment?"

Deacon stopped what he was doing and turned to face her. "Sure, what's up?"

"Maybe you could come over for dinner tonight, the girls would like that."

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Good," Rayna played with her hair twirling a strand around her finger. "I'd like to get them used to you being around more."

Deacon gave her a questioning look.

"I mean, I know you're with someone else, but I thought maybe we could start spending more time together…as a family."

For some strange reason Rayna couldn't quite read the look on Deacon's face. It was placid, and there was no sign of real emotion behind his eyes that usually were brimming with it. "I'm not with anyone Ray. Pam and I broke up. It was pretty casual to begin with and well, it just didn't seem worth it I guess."

He could see her face light up at the realization that he was completely single and it stung a bit. A couple of weeks ago he would have given anything to see that reaction from her. Despite the pain he'd felt in the last few months, he knew he could never stay angry at her for long, and well, now it really seemed pointless. All of it seemed pointless in fact.

"Well," Rayna smiled. "I know it's been a rough few months, and most of that is my fault, but I was thinking, maybe you and I, we could try again? I'm not saying we're ready for marriage yet, just see where things go."

Deacon rubbed his face and shifted on his boots. He wanted to run to her, take her in his arms and never let her go. He wanted to wrap himself up in her all night, and feel her comforting embrace as she whispered that everything would be okay. He wanted it more than anything, but he knew he couldn't do that. He couldn't be that selfish.

She had spent most of their relationship taking care of him, holding him as he detoxed, cleaning up after him when he was sick on their wooden floors, sitting by his bedside in the hospital as they pumped his stomach. He knew it's what kept her up at night, the fear that she'd have to see him dying in the hospital. That was her worst nightmare when they were together. She'd cry and tell him she couldn't do it anymore, that the thing she feared most of all was the doctor coming out telling her he wasn't going to make it this time.

He couldn't put her through that again. Couldn't let this time just be another variation on the past. He knew she'd have to go through it anyway, that she'd probably be there for him at the end holding his hand as he lay in sweat drenched over-starched hospital sheets, and threw up into a plastic bucket by his mechanical bed, but if he could help it that part would be as brief as possible.

He looked back up into her eyes trying to hide from her what he was really feeling. "I don't know Ray. I'm not so sure that's a good idea." He could see the pain cross her face, see her try to control it like she always did, push it down until she couldn't feel anything anymore. He guessed that's how she endured being with Luke all those months. "Alright," she said shakily. "I just thought maybe, you know, it would be good for the girls to have a stable family for a change. Like you said, Maddie, Daphne, you, and me."

"That was a long time ago Ray. I've had a lot of time to think about things since then, and I think you were right, it's better for us to stay like this, friends, raising her up as co-parents, no complications."

He could see that Rayna was barely holding back the tears, and he looked away so he wouldn't be overcome with the desire to comfort her. He went back over to the window where his records were lined in bins and began leafing through them. "I'll see you for dinner tonight Ray. 7:00?"

Rayna nodded her head, but didn't say anything. She made an attempt to collect herself picking up her purse as she stared longingly at the back of his head and the way his muscles moved as he glided his fingers over the records. "Okay, I'll see you tonight."

Deacon kept his eyes trained on the records until he heard the door close and the sound of Rayna's car starting outside, then he let the tears roll down his face trying to block out the thoughts of what could have been.


	7. Chapter 7

Rayna stood at her kitchen counter chopping onions for the dinner. She told herself the tears were just from the pungent vegetable, but inside she knew better. Maddie and Daphne blew in the door, home from their after school activities. "What's for dinner?" Maddie asked.

"I'm making a stir fry. Your father's coming over." She watched as Maddie lit up.

"Really? I can't remember the last time we had him over for dinner."

"I think it was last year before the CMAs when you guys were still dating," Daphne chimed in.

Rayna swallowed hard at the memory of that happy time, and how it all just seemed to slip away so effortlessly.

"Well get washed up cause he should be here any minute."

Just on cue the doorbell rang and Daphne ran to answer it. "I'll get it!"

She opened the door and there he stood in that damn red flannel that he wore last time the four of them had dinner together. "Hey little one," he said giving Daphne a hug. She pulled him into the kitchen where the other women were preparing dinner. If Rayna had blinked her eyes it could have been a year ago, only something was different, Deacon was different. The joy that had been there a year ago was nowhere to be seen. Sure he was smiling, but Rayna could tell that something was off. It felt off all through the dinner, it felt off while he and Maddie played the guitar and Daphne harmonized, and it felt off as they were saying goodbye at the back door.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Ray, I'm fine. I thought it was a nice night, wasn't it."

"Uh huh. Really nice, you just don't seem like yourself. Is this about what we talked about earlier? Did I push things too far, too fast? Are you still mad at me about all that stuff with Rolling Stone?"

Deacon shook his head. "No Ray, I'm telling you, it's fine, I'm fine. Things are good with us and I had a nice time tonight. It's great to be over here and not have to worry about Wheeler eyeing me the whole time as if I was going to steal the China."

Rayna smiled. "I think he was more worried about you stealing me."

The smile faded away from Deacon's face. "Well he's gone, so it really doesn't matter anymore does it?"

Rayna shook her head, then leaned in and kissed Deacon on the cheek.

"Night Rayna," he said.

"Night." She watched him as he got into his truck and drove down the driveway. She hated it every time he did that. She hoped that all it would take was time before there was no need for him to leave at all. A girl could hope couldn't she?

##

Rayna sat in her office going over some paperwork that needed handling for Highway 65. She was trying to get through the contract, but all she could think about was Deacon. Something was off, and she wasn't sure what. She couldn't quite place it, but he just hadn't seemed like himself last night at dinner. And him not wanting to work on them, that surprised her too. If there was one thing she was sure of it was that Deacon Claybourne loved her, loved her without care for consequence or for how much pain he could cause himself. It had always been that way. So why the sudden shift, especially when she was putting herself out there, telling him she was wanting to make it work with them.

Maybe he had changed. Maybe he was wanting her to work for it, work for him, for them. It had to be that, right? There was no way that Deacon would ever want to settle for them just being friends. He just wanted her to show him how much she wanted him, to reassure him that she wasn't going to hurt him this time. Rayna grabbed her purse and her keys and headed towards East Nashville.

##

When she reached his house she was riled up far past what she probably should have been going into this conversation, but she couldn't help it. When Rayna got an idea in her mind she was like a dog with a bone. She knocked on the door and when he didn't answer right away she knocked again. "Deacon, open up. It's me."

A minute later he came to the door pulling it open revealing her standing on the porch. "Calm down Ray, I was in the back room. It only took me a minute. What are you in such a huff about anyway?"

Rayna pushed past him and into his living room pacing back and forth so quickly that you could almost see the dust that she was kicking up with her boots. "I was thinking about that conversation we had yesterday about us just being friends, and I don't accept that."

Deacon laughed a little with amusement. "I don't think it's 100% your decision Ray. Being involved with someone romantically has to be a two way street."

"I know it does, but I don't believe you for one goddamn second Deacon Claybourne when you tell me that's not what you want."

Deacon sighed. "Rayna, can't you just accept that things have changed, I've changed. I've finally grown up and realized that maybe the things I've wanted in the past aren't what I want anymore."

"Bullshit!" Rayna was really getting into her fighting stance now.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, I said bullshit." By this point Rayna was yelling, and Deacon was yelling back. "We belong together Deacon. I know I haven't always been the best at admitting that, but it's never not been true. Deep down we both know that, and you more than either of us have never denied that."

"Rayna, why can't you just let it go? Why do you have to keep pushing on this. There are plenty of men out there that would die to be with Rayna Jaymes."

"I don't want plenty of men Deacon, I want you."

"You want a former drunk with self-destructive tendencies, who nearly got you killed in a car accident? Why would you want that Rayna, Why?"

"You said it Deacon, because we love each other, because we're in love with each other, because we deserve to grow old together, to sit on our porch at the lake house and watch our grandkids run in the yard, to have Christmas dinners, and family concerts, and lazy Sundays by the fire. After everything we've been through we deserve that Deacon."

"We're not going to have that Rayna!"

"Why not?!"

"Because we're not!"

"Why?!"

She was pleading with him to give her a straight answer, and he could see it. He just didn't have the strength to lie to her anymore, and he just let go.

"Because I'm dying!"

This stopped Rayna in her tracks. She froze unsure she heard what she heard. When she was able to speak again her voice was barely a whisper. "What?"

Deacon ran his hand through is hair. "I found out a couple of weeks ago. It's my liver. You always said all those years of drinking was going to kill me, well you were right."

Rayna's breath was coming quickly now. She could barely process what he was telling her. "The doctors are giving me about six months before my liver craps out for good. A year if I'm lucky, and we both know I ain't the lucky type."

Rayna looked around the room as if she'd find the answer to this nightmare in the vase on the mantle, or the basket by the back wall. "There's transplants for livers right? Isn't that one of the organs you can replace?"

"Yeah, but I'm kind of far down on the list. You don't shoot to the top of the transplant list if you're a former alchie who did this to himself."

Rayna was unsure what to do, when she was finally able to move from the spot where she seemed bolted to for the last 30 seconds she flung herself at Deacon wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close.

Deacon snaked one arm around her back and the other into her fiery main of hair as he heard her begin to whimper. "It's okay Ray."

Rayna finally managed to collect herself. "What about a living donor? They have those right?"

"No Ray, I'm not going to let anyone put themselves in danger for me."

Rayna pulled away from him. "Well maybe that's not your choice. It's not just about you Deacon. There's me, and there's Maddie, and maybe we don't want to live without you. We're going to get tested, hell, I don't care if I have to buy a fucking liver on the black market, we're going to get you that transplant."

Deacon loved it when she was sassy like that. She was always so strong when he couldn't be and vice versa. They'd always fit so well together. "Come on," she said. "Pack a bag."

"Where are we going?"

"My place. You're going to move in with Maddie and Daphne and I so we can take care of you." She could see him start to protest and she cut him off. "Don't even start to fight with me on this cause you know I'm going to win."

She was right, he did know in the end she'd end up getting what she wanted, so instead he just walked into his bedroom and packed a bag.

##

On the car ride over to Rayna's Deacon turned to watch her as she drove. He could see her mind reeling, determination shining through. "What are we going to tell the girls?" he asked.

Rayna softened a bit. "I think we just need to tell them the truth. It'll be worse if we keep it from them. They'll just feel betrayed later on."

Deacon nodded his head. "Hey Ray…"

"Yeah?" she asked.

"I love you."

He could see that Rayna was starting to cry and he reached over and grabbed her hand. "I love you too," she said.

##

They tried to keep it as optimistic as possible for the girls, but Maddie started crying as soon as they got to the word transplant, and Daphne followed suit. Maddie stood up and walked over to where Deacon was sitting wrapping her arms around him and holding him tight. Daphne came over and did the same on the other side of him. Tears streamed down the faces of the whole family as Deacon stroked the girls' hair. "It's going to be okay, but even if it's not, I just want you to know I love you." This made the girls cry even harder.

"It's not fair," Maddie said between sobs. "I just got you, I can't lose you."

"I know sweet girl, but life isn't always fair. I know it might get tough. There might come a time when I'm real sick and it won't be easy for anyone, but I just want you to remember that having you in my life has made everything worthwhile, even if it's going to be for just a short time.

##

It took hours and three rounds of ice cream for Rayna to get the girls to sleep. She walked into her own room and looked at her tear streaked face. She wiped it off with a washcloth then changed into a t-shirt and shorts for bed. Deacon was in the guest bedroom down the hall.

She was about to climb into bed, but then let the covers drop and went out into the hallway. Rayna knocked on Deacon's door and walked into the room. He was already in bed and the lights were out. "Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to check and make sure you didn't need anything?"

"I'm fine Ray, you've got to stop treating me with kid gloves. I can still take care of myself you know."

"I know."

Deacon lay back in bed pulling the covers over him. "Night Ray."

"Night." Rayna turned to leave, but she stopped for a second and turned back to face him. Deacon looked at her with questioning eyes. He could see the tears starting to form, and her fighting not to release them. When she spoke it was quiet and filled with emotion. "Will you hold me?" She asked with shaky breath.

Deacon breathed in deep and pulled back the covers. "Of course."

Rayna ran to him slipping into bed beside him and wrapping herself around his body. She ran her fingers up over his bare chest and then into his hair. She buried her head in the crook of his neck and breathed in his scent trying to calm her shaking body. Deacon wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer. The warmth and security she felt as he enveloped her was too much to bear and she let the flood gates open as tears once again fell from her eyes with reckless abandon.

Deacon held her tight as he felt his own tears slowly roll down his cheeks. They lay like that, entwined for what seemed like hours. Finally Rayna slid her hands down to his face and lifted her head to look at him. She pulled his face close to hers as she took his bottom lip between hers sucking at him as if she'd just crossed a desert and he was the first water she'd seen in days.

Their kisses became deeper and more frantic, each longing for the intimacy they both desperately needed. Rayna pulled back a moment resting her forehead against his. "Make love to me babe. I need to feel you inside of me." Deacon answered by taking her mouth with his own and rolling her onto her back so the weight of his body was fully covering hers. Rayna moaned at the feeling of him on top of her. It had been so long, and he felt so damn good.

Deacon tore off her t-shirt and slid off her shorts as he removed his own. It was mere seconds before he pulled her towards him entering her in one deep thrust. "Oh baby," he sighed as he felt the heat of her body surround him. Rayna took in the feel of him inside of her, running her hands over his face, holding him close as she looked into his eyes. They were both crying again, their tears mingling together in shimmering pools that landed on the sheets below their writhing bodies.

They were desperate to be closer, to become one with each other in every sense of the word, and it was overwhelming. The first time they had sex after a long break was always intense and frenzied, but this, this was like nothing either of them had ever experienced before.

Rayna wondered if it would always be like this from now on. This passionate, this emotional. Would there never again be the fun fuck in the broom closet at the Ryman, or the lazy morning romp where he'd play with every inch of her body as if it was his own personal playground? Would every future caress be imbued with all the emotion of a last goodbye?

All she knew was that at this moment the only thing she wanted was to be as close to him as possible for as long as possible. The thought of him not being here six months from now was too much to handle. She couldn't accept that. She was a Wyatt, and Wyatt's never stopped fighting. Her mind kicked into over drive just as her orgasm hit her and her primal scream of pleasure and pain took control.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for all the reviews! I really appreciate them.**

##

Rayna opened her eyes and lifted her head just enough to look at the clock. 7:27. She lay it back down on the tangled sheets beneath her. She was laying half on her stomach and half on her side, but she was acutely aware that Deacon was lying on top of her. Every inch of his body was pressed against every inch of hers, and his arms were holding her tight. She realized that she'd lost feeling in her left arm, which shouldn't have surprised her considering they had been in this position since they had fallen asleep somewhere around 2:30 in the morning.

Rayna tried to inch her way out of bed to free her arm, but her attempt at an exit was met with an equal and opposite reaction. Deacon pulled her back towards him pressing himself against her and planting kisses on her neck. She reached back running her fingers though his hair as she moaned softly.

"Where are you going?" Deacon whispered in her ear.

"We have to get up, I'm sure the girls have been up for hours."

"They're practically all grown," Deacon said in his sexiest sleepy voice as he once again pressed into Rayna from behind, and his mouth found the curve of her shoulder blades. "I'm sure they're fine."

"Mmm babe, I'm sure they are too, but we also have a doctor's appointment at 8:30."

Deacon stopped what he was doing and sighed then he lay his head down on Rayna's back. The last two weeks had been nothing but doctor appointments followed by waiting and Deacon wasn't sure he could handle another one today.

"Can't we skip it?"

Rayna pushed Deacon off of her sitting up in bed. "No we cannot skip it. You're not going for a physical Deacon, it's not like you have a sprained wrist."

Deacon rolled over on his back and put his hands behind his head so he could look at her. "I know Ray, I just feel like…well everything's always such a big deal these days, everything's so serious. I just want to spend the day having some fun for a change."

Rayna cocked an eyebrow. "Last night wasn't fun?"

Deacon smiled pulling her towards him so she was snuggled up into his arms. "Last night was incredibly wonderful, but I don't know if I would refer to it as fun."

Last night the whole family gathered in the living room where the girls proceeded to sing a song for Deacon that they'd written for him. It was sweet and maudlin which made them cry as they sang it, and then Rayna and Deacon cry as a result. Once the girls went to sleep Rayna took Deacon to the bedroom and told him he wasn't to do anything, that she was going to make the night all about how she could pleasure him. As amazing as every soft touch and sensual lick was the evening ended like all the others did for the past couple of weeks, with Rayna weeping in his arms and Deacon pulling her close as he told her everything was going to be alright.

"All we've done the last couple of weeks is hang around here."

"Well what do you want to do? We can go out. Maybe a nice a dinner? We could go to The Silly Goose, or Mas Taco if you want something more casual? The girls love that place."

"I was thinking about playing somewhere with some friends. I miss doing my Thursday nights at the Bluebird, or even hamming it up on stage at Tooties."

"Why would _you_ want to play at Tooties? That makes no sense Deacon."

"It doesn't have to be Tooties, I'm just saying. It would be nice to do something out of the ordinary, I'm not dead yet Ray, It would be great to act like it for a change."

Of course this made Rayna cry again. "Okay, alright, I'm sorry." Deacon pulled Rayna back into his arms.

"No, I'm sorry. I've been too emotional these last couple of weeks. It's just I want to savor every moment we have together."

"I know you do Ray, and I do too, but we need to stop living like I have one foot in the grave."

Rayna nodded her head. "Well, we do have to get up Deacon, Maddie and I are getting tested today to see if we're a match."

"Okay baby, I'll go shower while you go see how the girls are." He kissed her lightly, and then she was off, running down to check on Maddie and Daphne.

##

An hour later the four of them were at the hospital. Scarlett had been tested a week ago and they'd already discovered she wasn't a match, so it was just Rayna and Maddie today. Deacon was down on the third floor getting some more tests done.

"Do you think I'll be a match?" Maddie asked the doctor. "Since I'm his daughter shouldn't I be one?"

"Well that's not always the case Maddie. I did a transplant last week where a man's son-in-law donated part of his liver to his wife's father. They weren't even related and he was the only match in the family. Are you ready to get some blood drawn?"

Maddie looked at the needle and felt a little squeamish. Rayna could tell she was a little wary. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to sweetheart. No one will think any less of you."

Maddie rolled up her sleeve and put out her arm. "No mom, I want to do it, if there's anything I can do to save dad, I can't imagine life without him."

Rayna kissed the top of Maddie's head. "I know sweet girl, I can't either."

Daphne walked up to Maddie and held her other hand. "If it hurts you can squeeze my hand real tight."

Maddie smiled at her little sister. "Thanks Daph."

##

Fifteen minutes later all three girls were sitting in the waiting room cookies and juice in hand. "It's nice of them that they gave us this even though we didn't donate blood." Rayna said.

Maddie nodded her head. "The doctors here seem really nice. They seem to really want to help Deacon. Right?"

"Of course sweet girl, they're trying their best."

An hour later Deacon came out, a little tired, but looking as chipper as could be expected. "How did my ladies do?"

"Maddie almost passed out when they stuck the needle in her arm!"

"Did not,"

"Did too. I had to squeeze her hand so she wouldn't faint."

"Well you owe your sister then."

Maddie smiled sheepishly at Deacon. "Come on let's get out of here. There must be better places to spend a Wednesday than at a hospital."

"We have to go to school." Daphne chimed in. "We already missed an hour."

Maddie nudged her. "Why did you say anything, maybe they would have let us skip."

"We were not going to let you skip, so don't blame your sister." Rayna said.

The family piled into the car and headed towards Daphne and Maddie's school. "Remember that your father is picking you up today. We'll see you on Tuesday."

"Why can't we live with you guys full time?" Maddie asked.

"I thought you like living with your father."

"I do, it's just. I don't want to be away from Deacon." Deacon reached into the backseat and grabbed her hand. "I know sweet girl, I don't want to be away from you either, but we should really continue our lives as normal. Hopefully it won't be ling before I have a new liver and everything's back to normal."

Maddie nodded her head and kissed him goodbye before running into the school to meet up with her friends.

Deacon leaned back in the car seat after they were inside. "That's the hardest part Ray, leaving the girls. I remember what it was like for you growing up without your mamma. I don't want that for Maddie."

Rayna reached over and took Deacon's hand in her own. "It's going to be alright babe. We just have to have some faith. In better news, I made some plans while you were getting those tests done."

"Oh yeah? What kind of plans."

"There's a country/blues singer I've been wanting to check out that's playing tonight at a honkey tonk down near Broadway. I thought maybe we could go."

A smile spread across Deacon's face. "Now we're talking."

##

Rayna and Deacon walked into the bar and grabbed some sodas from the bartender. They were trying to keep a low profile, but it had only been a few weeks since Rayna's broken engagement to Luke, and people definitely took notice that she'd not only walked in the door, but walked in the door with Deacon Claybourne on her arm. As the music started Rayna noticed a couple of people taking pictures of she and Deacon as they stood in the corner.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea Ray. With everything that's happened in the last few weeks I kind of forgot about all the Luke wedding stuff."

"Yeah, me too."

"Maybe I shouldn't be standing so close to you, we don't want to end up on TMZ tomorrow."

"You know what," Rayna said with a bit of fire in her eyes. "Screw them. If they want something for the tabloids, we'll give them something for the tabloids." Rayna took Deacon's hand pulling him out into the middle of the floor where there were a few couples dancing. "I'm not going to hide that you're mine."

It was an up tempo song and the moment they hit the dance floor Deacon swung Rayna around so that she was in his arms. It had been a while since they'd danced together like this, but they fell right back into the same rhythm they had when they used to dance at barn parties when they were teens. Deacon laughed as the two of them moved to the beat of the music. It was the first time she'd seen him laugh in ages and it was the most beautiful sight Rayna could remember seeing in the longest time.

As the song slowed Deacon pulled Rayna into his arms and she wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered against his lips. "Let's give them something to talk about." Rayna kissed Deacon. Not a peck, or even a soft slow kiss, but a full on passionate hands running through hair, tongues battling, lips sucking kiss. They could tell that a dozen or so cell phone flashes were going off but neither one of them cared, they just continued to kiss in the middle of the bar until finally Deacon broke the kiss. He took Rayna's hand and led her through the crowd to the back of the bar. He looked back to make sure that no one followed them, then he pushed open the door to one of the bathrooms and pulled Rayna in.

As soon as they were in there Deacon locked the door and drew Rayna back into another kiss. Hands were moving furiously in such a tight space. Rayna yelped with surprise as Deacon lifted her and placed her down on the sink. "We're going to break this thing," she managed to get out between kisses.

"So what, we'll buy them a new one." Deacon inched his fingers under the hem of Rayna's short skirt as she managed to unzip the fly on his pants reaching in to grab him. Deacon moaned against her neck as he felt her warm fingers wrap around him as she gently stroked him. He pulled down her panties and before either one of them could think better of it they were going at it right there in the tiny 2 foot by 4 foot bathroom. After they both climaxed Deacon pulled back a little taking Rayna's face in his hands. "You know what Ray?" Deacon smiled at her and Rayna smiled back.

"What?"

"Now this is fun."


	9. Chapter 9

**Just a short chapter. Thanks for all the reviews. **

##

Deacon was driving home from a writing session with some friends when all of a sudden he wasn't sure where he was going anymore. He looked around at the stores lining the streets, but nothing seemed familiar. "How did I get here?" he asked himself.

He pulled over to a gas station and walked up to the guy pumping gas. "Hey man, I'm kind of lost, can you tell me where we are?"

"You're on 11th Ave., and Broadway. Where you trying to go?"

Deacon thought for a second. "Um, home."

The gas attendant laughed. "I figured, but where's home?"

Deacon scratched his head for a moment then panicked realizing he wasn't sure what address to give the man. "Huh, I'm actually not so sure."

"Are you okay man? Is there someone you could call?"

"Yeah, I can call my girlfriend." Deacon looked around for his phone, but he couldn't seem to find it. Confused, he sat down on the back bumper of his truck to collect his thoughts.

The attendant realized something was off with Deacon and made an effort to help him out. "Do you know her number, I can call her for you?"

"No, but her name is Rayna Jaymes."

The attendant arched an eye-brow. "Your girlfriend is Rayna Jaymes? The singer? Are you sure about that buddy? Maybe you've had a little too much to drink?"

"No, I haven't been drinking. I don't drink." Deacon said a little too forcefully for the attendant's liking.

The attendant held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, I believe you, but you have to realize you're sounding a bit silly right now. Why don't I call the police and maybe they can help you find your way home?"

##

A half-hour later Deacon was sitting in the lobby of the police station when Rayna ran in. "Oh my god, thank god." She leaned down next to Deacon throwing her arms around him. "When the cops called I didn't know what to think. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I've just been having some memory issues that's all." Rayna brushed Deacon's hair away from his face and kissed his forehead. Then she reached for his hand.

The cop who had picked Deacon up at the gas station walked over to them. "You'll have to pick up his truck. He left it at the gas station where I found him. All he remembered when I arrived was that you were his girlfriend which seemed kind of ludicrous, but when I looked at his I.D. and realized he was Deacon Claybourne it made sense."

"Thanks so much officer. We'll worry about your truck later babe. We have to get you to the doctor."

"I'm fine Ray."

"Are you kidding me? You are not fine Deacon. We are going to the doctor right now."

Deacon knew that arguing with her wasn't going to help the situation, and as much as he didn't want to go back to the doctor he knew she was right. He _had_ been scared. He really didn't know where he was, and he'd been living in Nashville for almost 30 years. There wasn't any back alley or boulevard that he didn't know in that town.

"Alright, let's go."

##

Dr. Riley walked into the room and found Deacon sitting in a chair with Rayna sitting next to him rubbing his hand in a loving manner.

"So Deacon, I hear we had some trouble today?"

"Yeah, doc. Guess I got a little confused."

"So we ran your blood work and it looks like you've had a release of ammonia into your brain."

Rayna tensed and squeezed Deacon's hand a little tighter.

"That doesn't sound good."

"It's not, but it can be somewhat managed with medications, however, you still might have some flare ups meaning unfortunately Deacon you really should never be left alone."

"Doc that's impossible. I'm not a child, and I don't have anyone who can be with me 24/7. We're busy people. I can't ask that of my family."

"Well maybe you can hire someone then, but I'm serious about this Deacon. At least this time there was someone there to help you, but next time you might not be so lucky."

"I'll be with him. He won't leave my sight."

"Ray, that's crazy. You're running a record label…touring, you can't watch me 24/7."

"Just hush up and let me worry about that okay?"

"Rayna…" Deacon started.

"Let's just hear the doctor out alright."

Deacon nodded his head.

"I also have the test results back from you and Maddie. Unfortunately, neither one of you were matches." The doctor watched as both of their faces fell. This was one of the worst parts of the job.

"Well, guess it's time to call Beverly then. Of course if she gives me a piece of liver she's going to hold it over me for the rest of our lives. Almost not worth it."

"She'll just love that." Rayna agreed.

"Does she have to come down here for the testing, or can she do that in Mississippi?"

"Her local hospital is fine. In the meantime, here is your prescription Deacon. Try to be careful."

"I will doc."

##

Later at home Deacon sat up in bed as Rayna took off her make-up and brushed her teeth. "You know, I would love it if you were helping me out on my label. I really need someone who could be an artist liaison, and no one knows how to handle a temperamental diva like you do."

"That's cause I've had a lot of practice." Deacon walked up behind Rayna wrapping her up in his arms and nuzzling her neck.

She swatted at him for a second before sinking back into him. "I am not that big of a diva. I was talking more like when you were on Juliette's tour."

Deacon laughed. "She did have quite a diva dip towards the end there, but you've had your days. Especially when you were younger." Deacon caught Rayna's eyes in the mirror. Are you sure you'd want that Ray? I don't want you to find me some vanity job just cause you feel like you can't leave me alone. There are other ways."

"Nonsense, I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think you'd be amazing at it. You can make sure the artists are happy, help them choose set lists, deal with producers, etc."

"You might get sick of me having me around all the time."

Rayna reached around so she was fondling him through his boxers. "Never. There is never a time I don't want you near me Deacon Claybourne." She gave him a little squeeze and felt him twitch. "Or better yet, inside of me."

Deacon lifted her up carrying her to the bed as the two of them forgot all about the harrowing day that lay behind them.


	10. Chapter 10

**I know this story can be kind of a downer at times, so I thought I'd provide a lighter chapter.**

##

Rayna ran into their bedroom throwing on some earrings and yelling into Deacon who was taking way too long in the shower. "We're gonna be late babe, let's hurry up!"

Deacon came out of the bathroom wrapped in nothing but a towel and came up behind Rayna as she was fastening her last earring. "Well whose fault is that?"

Rayna spun around giving him a peck on the lips and running her fingers along the edge of the towel playfully. "Well what could I say, you were looking all sexy and such this morning, I needed a little something to get the day started right."

Deacon leaned into her pulling her against him hard as the towel fell away. "Want a repeat?"

Rayna laughed running her hands up and down his back and ass before planting her hands firmly on his chest and pushing back. "I do, but then we'd never make it to work which is not an option today. "Fine," Deacon said as he walked towards the closet and threw on some jeans and a button down. A minute later he emerged fully dressed. "Alright, ready."

"It's so easy being a man. You just throw on the same damn thing every day and you look perfect." Rayna ran her hand through Deacon's hair brushing it away from his face. He held her waist before planting a last kiss on her lips.

"Morning check up…roll call." Rayna said staring seriously into Deacon's eyes.

"Name Deacon Claybourne. Birthday, February 27th 1968. Address 62 Windsor Drive. And you're….Jessica."

Rayna swatted at him playfully as Deacon smirked at her lovingly. "That's not funny you know."

"Oh come on, I know who you are. Sally right?" Deacon pulled her in close, tenderly kissing the tip of her nose.

"You joke, but yesterday you didn't remember how to use the microwave. Daphne had to show you."

"No one should be using those things. The radiation alone could make someone forget stuff." Deacon let go of her and started heading down the stairs with Rayna in tow.

"I'm just saying babe, "I love you and I worry about you."

"I know you do Ray, but really, today's a good day. No memory issues, no blood transfusions, and I'm heading to work with my favorite girl."

"Well, you better be on your A game. Madison Riley is coming in to discuss signing and I'll need some of that Deacon Claybourne charm to win her over."

"I thought you only wanted me to use that on you?"

"Well yes, but it's alright when it helps me get what I want."

Deacon smiled. "Oh, is that how this works?"

"Uh huh. Now get your sexy butt in that car."

Deacon headed out towards the garage. "Yes ma'am!

##

"So what's the deal with this girl?" Deacon asked when they were safely settled in Rayna's office.

"Madison Riley, 28. Her single "Bad Girl's Gone Good" just shot up the charts to number 3 in a matter of days, but I've heard she's unhappy with her label. She likes her men, I mean really likes her men, she's had more boyfriends than Taylor Swift, but I think girls like her more, you know?"

Deacon nodded as he listened to the song that Rayna had pulled up on her computer. "I don't know Ray, this doesn't really sound like my wheelhouse."

"Are you sure? You got real good at playing "Boys and Busses" while on the road with Juliette. I think anything's your wheelhouse if you want it to be."

Deacon smiled, "Fine, you're right."

"I'll do all the heavy lifting, just sit there and flatter her a little. She fancies herself an artist so make her feel like one."

"Okay, I can do that."

By 10:30 they'd been waiting for her a half-hour when Madison finally strolled in with her manager Jerry in tow. She was wearing 6-inch stiletto heels and a rhinestone studded bra that was peaking out from beneath a flimsy white tank top.

"Madison, I know that Highway 65 isn't as big as your current label, but I can tell you right now, currently you are the ninth highest grossing artist on your label, that means that the CEO will take eight other calls ahead of yours, but at Highway 65 you will be one of the top three grossing artists and I take everyone's calls no matter what time it is. We have a small stable of artists, but that's what they are, artists. People like Sadie Stone who just won a CMA and Deacon Claybourne here who has been one of the most respected singer songwriters in Nashville for the past 25 years."

Deacon smiled at Madison and flashed his baby blues. "Darlin' you will be taken care of here at Highway 65. No one knows the business like Rayna Jaymes."

Madison looked over at Deacon eyeing him like he was a lollipop that she wanted to lick from head to toe.

"Is he part of the deal? Cause if he is, I'll sign right now."

"Well, he is our artist liaison which means that he'll make sure your voice is always heard. Producer issues, need recommendations on a new guitarist, Deacon can help with that."

"Well, I was thinking of maybe more of a personal touch."

Rayna managed to keep her composure while choking back a gag.

"Honey, I think I'm a little more than you can handle." Deacon responded, flirty smile full blazing.

"Oh you have no idea how _much_ I can handle." Madison flirted in return.

Rayna cleared her throat. "So what are you thinking Madison?"

Madison gave Deacon another glance and then looked back at Rayna. "Alright, I'll sign."

Bucky took Madison and her manager into the back to handle the paperwork while Deacon and Rayna headed into her office. She sat down purposefully giving him the silent treatment.

"What? You said to sweet talk her." Deacon said.

"Sweet talk her, not serve yourself up on a silver platter."

"Come on baby. Everyone in Nashville knows that I belong to you. We made damn sure of it during that little make-out session in the bar last month. Not to mention…" Deacon walked over behind Rayna and started massaging her shoulders. "You know that there ain't ever going to be another woman for me. Even if you had married Luke I would have loved you till the day I died."

Rayna put her hands on Deacons turning to kiss one of them. "I know babe, I just don't enjoy watching you act like that with someone else."

"That, like this morning's early activity was your idea, but if you don't want me to I won't." Rayna stood up and leaned against the desk, then she pulled Deacon towards her positioning him between her legs as she swept kisses across his neck. "No, you're right, I trust you, and I did ask you."

Deacon pressed into her a bit and let out a quiet moan before he whispered in her ear. "Ray, this office is all glass."

Rayna sighed and pulled back a little. "I know, who's damn idea was that?"

"Once again, I think it was yours."

"Worst idea I've had all year."

##

A couple of days later Deacon and Rayna were curled up in bed together when the phone rang. Deacon moaned and pulled her tighter against his body. "You get it."

"It's your phone, you get it."

"I'm sick, I shouldn't be woken up at this time."

"Guilting me already? Fine, I'll get it."

Rayna reached out and grabbed Deacon's phone off of the bedside table. "Hello."

"Hi…um, Rayna?"

"Yep."

"Oh, I thought I was calling Deacon's phone."

"You are, but he's sleeping." Rayna nudged Deacon with her elbow and he responded by burying his face in her hair and kissing the spot beneath her ear that always drove her wild. "Who is this?" Rayna said half purring and half annoyed.

"Oh, it's Madison."

Rayna rolled her eyes. "Is there anything I can help you with Madison?" Rayna eyed the clock. "It's 11:45, but I'm sure if it's an emergency we can figure something out for you."

"Oh no, I just thought, you know cause he's the artist liaison and all, I was just having a bout of writers block and thought maybe he could help to unstick it, but I'll call back in the morning."

"Why don't you do that," Rayna said with just the right amount of sweet southern charm to mask her annoyance. "Actually, we'll give you a call tomorrow when _we_ get out of bed."

Rayna hung up the phone and threw it on the floor. "Laying it on a little thick Ray? You didn't have to say that thing about us getting out of bed, I think she got the point when you picked up my phone."

Rayna turned in Deacon's arms so she was facing him. "Well, there's nothing wrong with a little reinforcement."

"Speaking of reinforcement, I could use some just to make sure you still love me."

Rayna wrapped her leg around Deacon pulling him towards her. "How much do you need?"

Deacon ran his hand up her thigh and under the shorts she was wearing lightly brushing against her and causing her body to shiver. "Quite a bit I think."

Rayna responded by kissing him fully. She ran her tongue over his lips until he allowed her access. She loved this so much, it was never not passionate with them. No matter if it was slow and sensual or fast and frenzied the passion between them was always there. Rayna released her leg so Deacon could pull off her shorts and slip her tank top over her head then she rolled him on his back so she was on top of him. As she slipped him inside of her she looked in his eyes and asked "Is this the kind of reinforcement you were thinking of?"

Deacon let out a low growl and pulled her hips towards him as he began to buck into her. "Yeah, this will do."

Deacon looked up at Rayna as she moved on top of him lost in her own pleasure. He loved the way she looked, loved what he could do to her. Her hair was wild and she was panting out his name as she came around him. Deacon flipped her on her back and rocked into her slowly at first then quicker as he brought himself to his own climax. As Deacon lay back on the bed he stroked Rayna's cheek with his fingers. "I'll have to thank Madison in the morning."

"For what?"

"For waking us up."

They both laughed, then drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.


	11. Chapter 11

Deacon and Rayna were running around the house getting everyone ready to head out the door.

"Daphne, don't forget your science project. You worked too hard on that, and I won't have time today to run home to get it."

"I've got it mom don't worry!" Daphne yelled from upstairs.

Deacon was sitting on the couch putting on his boots when Maddie came in and sat down next to him. "Dad. Does it hurt when you get a blood transfusion?"

"Not really baby, but I wouldn't say it was enjoyable."

"What are we going to do now that Aunt Beverly isn't a match either?"

"I don't know sweetheart I guess I just have to hope that I get a liver off of the list."

Rayna walked in and watched Maddie and Deacon on the couch. She loved seeing them together. She was always aware that there was a time when she thought they'd never be like this, that they'd never be a real family, but now they had everything they'd ever dreamed of. Deacon just had to survive long enough for them to enjoy it.

Rayna took notice how thin Deacon was looking lately. At first she told herself that it was because they were so busy at Highway 65 that neither of them really had time to eat, but she could no longer deny that the illness ravaging Deacon's body was no longer just wreaking havoc on the inside. If she was being honest with herself he was looking a little pale, and his normal rosy color had turned to a sickly green pallor.

"Everyone ready?" Rayna asked.

"Yep!" Deacon said as he stood up. Maddie grabbed her backpack and ran towards the car. Rayna grabbed onto Deacon's arm as he slowly made his way behind her. "You okay babe?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Ray." Deacon patted Rayna's hand. "Don't worry about me."

##

By 9:30 the girls were at school and Deacon was hooked up to a bunch of tubes pumping brand new blood through his veins. Rayna was sitting beside him holding his hand as he dosed off a bit. All of a sudden he startled and shook awake.

"Is everything okay? Are you alright? Do you want me to get the nurse?"

"I'm fine Ray. You know you don't have to sit with me through all this. I know you have a ton of stuff to do at the office."

"It can wait Deacon. I'm not leaving you. There's no other place I need to be."

Deacon brushed a loose strand of hair away from Rayna's face. "I love you Ray, you know that right?"

Rayna nodded her head as a she began to tear up. "I love you too Deacon." She leaned down kissing his shoulder and resting her face against his arm. "You know what?"

"What baby?"

"We should get married."

"Sure, as soon as I'm well we'll plan something."

"No, this weekend."

Deacon turned to look at Rayna. "Ray, I'm sick, and I know we don't want to think about it, but I could die. A wedding should be a happy time. You don't want to be a newlywed with a dying husband, I don't want to be a burden."

"That's exactly why we should do it now." Rayna stroked Deacon's face. "I have wanted to marry you since I was 18-years old Deacon. I do not want to leave this world without being your wife." Rayna started peppering his face with small kisses. "Please?"

Deacon just took in the sensation of her lips on his body. It was so hard to deny her anything she wanted. It always had been. "Let's just talk about this when we get home. Alright?"

Rayna nodded her head and lay it back down on Deacon's shoulder. She started remembering back to that first realization that she wanted him to belong to her forever.

_She'd been 18 at the time. They'd been together for almost two years by then. Rayna knew she loved Deacon, but it had been more of a teenage love. She got butterflies when she saw the way his muscles moved underneath his shirt, she was obsessed with the things he could do to her body, the way he could make her feel just by touching her. He was her best friend and her confidant, but everything had been about right now, there'd been no future past the moment when she could be in his arms again. That is until they went to Mississippi._

_Deacon had told Rayna a little bit about his family life, how his father was abusive, how the moment he could afford that bus ticket he was out of there, but she'd never been back with him to visit his family. Actually, Rayna couldn't remember a time in the past two years when Deacon had been back either. Things had been going well for them career wise. Watty had booked them in gigs clear across the country and most of their time was spent writing and making sweet love in the back of an old beat up tour bus he'd gotten second hand. _

_Right now they were heading to Mississippi to see Deacon's sister Beverly. She had gone into labor at 4:00 in the morning and by 4:30 Deacon and Rayna were on the road. "What happened to the father?" Rayna asked._

"_Doug? He's a no good deadbeat. Always was. Couldn't believe that Beverly chose to stay in Mississippi and marry him rather than come with me to Nashville. Guess I was right, moment things got too real, he got gone." _

"_Your poor sister. I don't know what I'd do if I was pregnant and my man wasn't around."_

_Deacon placed his hand on top of Rayna's. "You'll never have to worry about that baby."_

_That had comforted Rayna, but it had also surprised her. She hadn't realized that Deacon had been thinking that far into the future, to them having children. She knew he was a few years older than her, but one didn't exactly look at Deacon Claybourne with his ripped jeans, his beat up pick-up truck, can of beer usually placed strategically in one hand and think of family. Mostly she just thought of peeling off those ripped jeans and fucking him in the back of the pick-up truck, but now she started to wonder._

_When they reached the hospital Beverly was already deep into her contractions. Deacon headed into the delivery room while Rayna stayed outside in the waiting room. "I'll come out and get you when it's here Ray." _

"_That's fine." Rayna pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. "I'm going to work on some lyrics anyway." _

_Two hours later and two verses into" Already Gone" Deacon came out with one of the biggest smiles on his face that Rayna had ever seen. "It's a girl!"_

_Rayna tucked the notebook in her purse and scurried to catch up with Deacon who could hardly contain his excitement. "A girl? Wow!" Rayna said to herself. _

"_Come on, the doctor said it's okay for you to come see her now. Beverly's asleep, it was rough going, but the baby is awake and perfect. She's calling her Scarlett."_

_When they reached the room a nurse was holding Scarlett in her arms. She was the smallest thing that Rayna had ever seen. She was all squished and wrinkled, and truthfully she barely looked human to her. _

_Deacon walked over to the nurse. "Can I hold her?"_

"_Of course. You're the uncle right?"_

_Deacon nodded as the nurse lay Scarlett in his arms showing him how to support her head. Rayna just watched as she saw a side of Deacon she'd never seen before. _

"_Hey there little Scarlett. I'm your uncle Deacon, and I want you to know, that I will always be there for you. No matter what happens you can rely on me, because I know we just met, but I love you more than I ever thought possible."_

_Rayna could feel the tears forming. Right at that second she couldn't wait till the moment he was holding their daughter in his arms, when she could hear him say those words to her. She knew right then and there that there'd never be anyone else for her but Deacon Claybourne. That more than anything she wanted to be his wife, and she wanted him to be the father of her children. _

Rayna sighed. They'd gotten so far off track. She knew that a lot of that had been Deacon's drinking, but she also knew a good portion had been her fault as well. One thing she was sure of was that no matter what, she was going to have that family that she dreamed of when she was 18. Nothing was going to stop her from getting it, not the drinking, not the years of lying, and certainly not a sudden illness.

"We're going to find you a liver Deacon. I promise you. I can't live without you, you're a part of me."

Deacon leaned over kissing the top of Rayna's head then lay back in the chair closing his eyes."

Rayna stared at him as he slept, there was no way she was going to lose her family again. Not this time.


	12. Chapter 12

**FYI the song that Deacon sings is a Tim McGraw song called "It's Your Love."**

##

Deacon sat up in bed reading an article in one of his guitar magazines while Rayna snuggled into him.

"So what do you think?" she asked.

Deacon took his reading glasses off and placed them on the bedside table. "Think about what?

"Getting married. This weekend."

"Oh, that." Deacon sunk down into the bed so that he was face to face with Rayna. "Are you sure you want to do that? Wouldn't you rather a big fancy wedding befitting a country queen later on?"

"You think I care about a big fancy wedding? If I wanted a big fancy wedding Deacon I could have married Luke in front of the 500 people who I didn't know. I don't care about the wedding. All I care about is the groom. I'd love to have the girls and Tandy there, but you're all I need."

Deacon sighed and kissed Rayna's nose. "If that's really what you want baby. You know I'd marry you right now if it were up to me."

"Great!" Rayna flashed a brilliant smile. "You don't have to do anything except invite who you want to come. I'll take care of everything."

"What if I want to do something?"

"Like what?"

"Oh, you'll see."

Rayna laughed and raised an eyebrow. "Just as long as you don't try to take care of the food, or else our wedding dinner with be Spaghetti-O's."

"You love Spaghetti-O's. You lived on that for years when we were living out of that one room apartment."

"And I was ecstatic when we were actually making enough money that I didn't have to eat 'em anymore."

"Fine, insult the cooking of a dying man."

Rayna playfully hit Deacon. "Are you going to use that for the rest of your life."

Deacon laughed. "Well it's a short one so you won't have to hear it for long."

The smile quickly faded from Rayna's face. "That's not funny Deacon. Don't even joke about that." Rayna snuggled in closer to Deacon.

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to upset you."

Rayna reached for Deacon's face slowly sucking on his lips and tongue. Then she pulled back an inch or two and spoke in a whisper. "You're going to outlive me Deacon Claybourne. I'm going to see to it."

Deacon responded by kissing Rayna in return. Soon their sweet kisses became more passionate, and Deacon rolled Rayna onto her back so his body was covering hers. If he wasn't going to have much longer, he was sure as hell going to make the most of the time he did have left.

##

When Deacon woke up on Saturday Rayna was already up and buzzing around. He looked at the clock and it read 12:06. Rayna had just stepped out of the shower and her hair was freshly washed sending the scent of lilac through the room. I can't believe you slept until noon."

"Well you kept me up until 2:00am.

Deacon stood up and walked over to the vanity where Rayna was brushing her hair. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and stared at her in the mirror. "Mmm babe. I love when you hold me like this, but we are on a strict schedule."

"Are we doing something today?"

Rayna turned around giving him a stern look. "Oh right, weren't we supposed to get married or something?"

"Or something." Rayna replied. "Now go down to the guest room and get dressed there so I can get ready.

"Ray, there's like 6 people coming to this thing, and that includes the JP. What's with all the prep? Who are you dressing for?"

"It's our wedding Deacon, and just because it's small doesn't mean I don't want to look nice. Maybe I want to look beautiful for you, have you thought of that?"

"You know I think you'd look beautiful wearing a paper bag with your hair in curlers Ray."

"I know, and that's why I love you." Rayna walked over and gave Deacon a quick kiss. "But get out of here, I'm serious." Rayna said as she pushed Deacon out the door.

He walked down to the guest room and jumped in the shower. He was washing the soap out of his hair when he felt faint and had to sit down. He slowly slid down the shower wall and curled up on the floor as the water pelted him from above. He took a couple of deep breaths. "God, just let me get through today," he said to no one in particular. "Please let me give this to Ray. She deserves this one perfect day."

Deacon sat there for another ten minutes or so until he finally had the strength to stand up. He shut off the water and carefully walked out toweling himself off before climbing into the clothing that Rayna had laid out for him on the bed. Standing in front of the mirror tying his tie he had to admit he didn't look like a man who was dying. His broad shoulders filled out the pressed white shirt nicely, and his Italian black suit jacket was perfectly cut for someone who was a little more wirey than his normal muscular frame.

Deacon wandered downstairs to the living room where Maddie and Daphne were all dressed up and putting final touches on the formal table for the dinner they were having after the wedding. "That looks beautiful ladies."

"Thanks Dad." Maddie ran over wrapping her arms around him.

"What's that for?"

"Nothing, I just can't believe today's the day we're going to become a real family."

"Sweetheart we're already a real family. You're mama and I are your parents, we don't need to be married to be a family."

"I know, but there's something nice about making legal."

Deacon laughed. "Sure is."

Deacon sat down on the couch. "Now why are we all ready this early? The wedding isn't until sundown."

"Mom's people still have to come."

"Her people?"

"You know, the people who do her hair and make-up and all that."

"She's having all that done? You'd think she was performing in front of 50,000 fans, not getting married in front of you two, Scarlett, Tandy, and Bucky."

Just at that moment Tandy walked in the door with the bouquet. "Sorry it took me so long. When I got there the flowers were all wrong. He used lilies instead of gardenias. Rayna would have been furious."

Deacon just shook his head and mumbled to himself. "Always a diva."

Tandy walked over placing the flowers in the fridge then sat down next to Deacon. "How are you feeling?"

"Not bad considering one of my organs doesn't work so well. Surprised to see you here Tandy. I thought you'd be boycotting this wedding."

"Come on Deacon. We've had our troubles in the past, but I know Rayna loves you, and I know you love my sister more than anyone could love another human being. I'm just happy she's happy."

"Well, I'm glad you're here. It wouldn't be the same without you."

"Probably a good thing daddy died last year though."

Deacon laughed. "You're right. He would have showed up trying to drag Rayna away before I legally became his son-in-law. Good ole Lamar is probably rolling over in his grave today."

Just then the doorbell rang and Daphne let in a team of hair and make-up people that were directed upstairs.

"If anyone needs me I'll be out by the pool," Deacon said as he slipped out the back door.

Deacon walked outside and was surprised to see a bunch of flowers and tea lights covering the pool area. The sun was still shining so he wasn't getting the full effect, but he could see that Rayna went a little further than just hiring a justice of the piece for this event. He pulled out his guitar and started to strum the song that he'd secretly written over the past two days while the girls were busy with other things.

##

A few hours later the sun was setting, the glamour squad had gone home and Bucky and Scarlett showed up with the justice of the peace. Scarlett walked over taking Deacon's arm. "It's lovely out here. It looks like a scene from a fairytale."

"That's all Ray. I couldn't have done this. She just lifts her little finger and absolute beauty comes out."

Scarlett smiled up at her lovesick uncle. There'd never been a day that she knew him that he wasn't madly in love with Rayna Jaymes, and today it was showing all over his face. "You better take your place under the tree. I think the girls are ready."

Deacon stood by the justice of the peace with Scarlett next to him. The music started and the girls walked down the make shift aisle. Deacon couldn't get over how grown up Maddie and Daphne looked in their yellow spaghetti strap dresses and high heels. Looking at Maddie it hit him how many years ago they should have done this. How many years they'd wasted apart. He just hoped that they still had some years left ahead of them.

As he was lost in thought he realized that Tandy had taken her place across from him and all of a sudden there she was on Bucky's arm standing at the back door to the house looking more beautiful than he'd ever seen her. She was wearing a simple chiffon gown that had a series of crystal beads in strategic places that caught the light from the candles when she walked. His heart started to race. Maybe it was because of the lack of anticipation, or the fact that there wasn't really any guests, but Deacon hadn't really been taking the wedding that seriously. As a result, he was caught completely off-guard when he saw her and the tears started to stream down his face.

By the time Rayna reached him she was crying as well and each reached out to wipe the other's tears from their faces. "Look at us, we're a mess." Rayna said between sniffles. Deacon just beamed at her in response. Rayna handed her bouquet to Tandy and took Deacon's hands in her own as she stared into his eyes. As she looked at him she thought that even fifteen pounds underweight he was still the sexiest man she'd ever set eyes on.

Rayna and Deacon were so lost in each other that the JP had to clear his throat to get their attention. Rayna blushed and Deacon laughed with embarrassment as he started.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Miss Rayna Jaymes Wyatt and Mr. Deacon Claybourne in holy matrimony. If anyone can see any reason why these two people shouldn't be joined let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

Good. Now that we've got that out of the way. Deacon, do you take Rayna to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to honor and cherish her? To stand by her in sickness and in health forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"Rayna, do you take Deacon to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to honor and cherish him? To stand by him in sickness and in health forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

Rayna started to cry again when the he mentioned sickness and health. She knew she would stand by Deacon to his dying day, even if that wasn't so far off, but she still pictured the two of them sitting on their porch in their eighties playing songs for their grandchildren. In fact she wanted that so much the thought had consumed her lately.

"Rayna and Deacon have written their own vows. Rayna, Deacon said he'd like you to start."

"Oh, okay. Rayna took Deacon's hands again. Deacon, my sweet love. I have loved you since the first day that I met you when you sat at The Bluebird in your ripped jeans with your baby face and your deep voice that I could listen to all day and all through the night. You are my best friend, my soul mate, and I know I don't say it enough, but there's so much I never would have been able to make it through without you by my side. If there's anything I've realized over the last 27 years it's that we can get through anything as long as we're together. I love you babe, and I can't wait to call you my husband for years and years to come."

Rayna slid the ring she'd picked out onto Deacon's finger as he smiled back at her.

"Deacon, your turn now," the JP said.

"Bare with me a moment." Rayna wasn't sure what was going on until she saw him grab a guitar from Scarlett. "You know me Ray, I'm not that great with words unless they're lyrics, so I decided to write you a song to show you how much I love you." Deacon started strumming and launched into the song…

"_Dancin' in the dark, Middle of the night, Takin' your heart, And holdin' it tight_

_Emotional touch, Touchin' my skin, And askin' you to do What you've been doin' all over again._

_Oh, it's a beautiful thing, Don't think I can keep it all in, I just gotta let you know, What it is that won't let me go_

_It's your love, It just does somethin' to me, It sends a shock right through me, I can't get enough, And if you wonder, About the spell I'm under, It's your love_

_Better than I was, More than I am, And all of this happened, By takin' your hand_

_And who I am now, Is who I wanted to be, And now that we're together, I'm stronger than ever, I'm happy and free…_

As Deacon launched into the chorus again Rayna was full on crying despite the fact that she knew her make-up was probably running down her face. When he finished he handed the guitar back to Scarlett and took Rayna's hand in his. "I love you baby, and I promise you, I will fight as hard as I can to stick around for you and the girls. You're everything to me. Even if I die tomorrow, today, I am the luckiest man in the world." Deacon slipped the silver eternity band on Rayna's hand as she looked down at it.

"See," she said. "I told you I always thought we'd need this thing."

The JP once again cleared his throat to get the attention of Deacon and Rayna who were lost in each other's eyes. "By the power invested in me by the state of Tennessee I now pronounce you husband and wife."

They were already kissing before he even had a chance to tell them to. Everyone cheered and the girls threw confetti on them before heading into the house to eat the wonderful dinner that the caterer had prepared.

##

Later on Bucky, Tandy, and Scarlett had gone home, the girls had gone to sleep filled with cake, and Deacon and Rayna were out by the pool under the string of lights slow dancing in each other's arms as Rayna ran her fingers through Deacon's hair and he held her tight. "You know the music stopped ten minutes ago Ray."

"Really? I didn't even notice. In fact, I think I still hear it." Rayna began to hum a sweet tune as she played with Deacon's undone tie, and the two of them continued to sway, their bodies pressed together. "This was perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better wedding."

"Not even if all of Nashville had been there."

"God no. Just the six of us. Just the people who matter most, that's all I wanted. I'm so happy to be your wife. Thanks for doing this for me Deacon. I know you were unsure about doing it this way, but I just didn't want either of us to leave this earth without me being your wife."

"How does it feel?"

Rayna smiled and kissed Deacon's lips. "Amazing, like everything I've ever dreamed of came true tonight."

Deacon kissed her back softly. "Yeah, me too. I love you Mrs. Claybourne."

"Mrs. Claybourne. I like the sound of that."

"You'd better, cause it's your name now."

Rayna laughed and gave Deacon another kiss before resting her head on his shoulder as they continued to dance under the moonlight. The perfect ending to their perfect day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks everyone for the nice reviews. I'm really enjoying writing this story, glad people are enjoying reading it as well. I'm clearly attached to the characters, and try to stay true to who they were season 1 despite the sometimes odd directions that the writers on the show have taken them. **

##

Deacon woke up, at least he thought he was awake, but he couldn't be sure because he felt like he was surrounded by water and everyone else was far away. There was a surge of pain that shot through every nerve in his body starting at his core and intensifying as it made it's way to the tips of his fingers and toes. He tried to scream, but the liquid surrounding him was preventing him from talking, but also from being able to breath. As he passed out he heard the lilt of Rayna's laugh in the background and wondered if this was the sound of heaven welcoming him in.

##

Rayna had been handling publicity for the launch of Juliette's new album. It was the first one she'd released since the baby had come, and her music definitely had a new tone to it. Gone were the songs about boys and busses. There was more of a maturity to both the lyrics, and the melodies she was crafting these days. Rayna was trying to convey this to the reporter as she walked him through the Highway 65 offices.

"You're really going to be impressed with her new sound, it even shocked me how much depth some of her new songs have. "Sunshine Through the Rain" is really going to be her next big hit. It's all anyone's going to be singing all summer long."

"The song of the summer?" The reporter asked with a smile. "Juliette Barnes is the next Robin Thicke or Pharrell."

"Please," Rayna laughed light heartedly. "Don't even say her name in the same sentence as those two men. There's no comparison."

All of a sudden the reporter looked down noticing that his foot was wet. "I think you may have a leak."

Rayna's eyes scanned down towards a stream of water that was flowing from underneath the door of the men's bathroom. "That's strange," she thought. She turned to the reporter. "We must have a leaky sink. Let me just turn it off. Rayna reached out to turn the nob to the bathroom door but it was locked. She jiggled it a few times confused how the door got locked without anyone in there. All of a sudden she started to panic and began to bang on the door.

"What's wrong?" The reporter asked. "What's going on?"

"My husband, did you see him go in there?" Rayna was frantically banging on the door by this point trying to get it open.

"I don't know, I didn't see him."

Bucky noticed all the commotion and came running over. "What's going on?"

"The door's locked, and the sink is running, no one is answering. I think Deacon might be in there. We have to get it open."

"Ok Rayna, we'll get it open."

Bucky and the reporter grabbed a table and rammed it into the door until it burst open. Rayna's assessment of the situation had been right. The sink was turned on full blast spilling onto the bathroom floor, and there and in puddle face down was Deacon. Rayna ran to him taking him into her arms.

"Deacon," she yelled. "Baby. Please, someone call an ambulance. I don't think he's breathing!"

Rayna's tears fell onto Deacon's face as she tried to breath life back into his body. "Please babe, don't leave me."

The next twenty-minutes were a blur filled with sirens and EMTs and an ambulance ride to the hospital. Then all of a sudden silence, which for Rayna, was the hardest thing to take. She sat in the waiting room at Vanderbilt ER with her head in her hands and nothing but her fears to keep her company.

Suddenly she noticed that someone was standing next to her. Rayna looked up and realized that the reporter was there holding a cup of coffee out to her. He must have ridden to the hospital with Bucky. "It's not much, but it's warm." Rayna nodded and took the cup from him. "Thanks." Her voice came out in barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry about your husband Ms. Jaymes."

Rayna looked up at him. "Claybourne. My name is Claybourne."

"Right. I'm sorry about your husband Mrs. Claybourne. I don't mean to intrude, but…well, I'm a music reporter and I've heard Deacon play a bunch so…I just wanted to stay a little and make sure he's going to be okay."

Rayna smiled weakly. How could this guy know that it was never going to be okay again. He probably thought Deacon was drunk and passed out. No one outside of the family knew he was sick, that's how he'd wanted it. "That's nice of you, but really, it could be hours, you should really go home.

Just then the doctor walked in. "Mrs. Claybourne?"

"Yes?"

The doctor eyed the reporter. "Can I talk to you in private?"

"Oh, I'll go get some air." The reporter headed out of the waiting room. When they were alone the doctor turned back to Rayna. "I'm not going to lie to you. It's not good. His liver has gone into massive failure."

Rayna swallowed hard trying to hold back the tears.

The doctor continued. "He needs a transplant, and he needs one now. Without one, he has maybe two weeks at best."

When she heard his words all efforts to keep it together failed, and Rayna couldn't hold back the tears. "He'll move up on the transplant list right? To the top."

"Yes, he's moved towards the top of the list, but the chance of getting a donor in two weeks isn't very high."

Rayna nodded her head, the full weight of what he was saying hitting her like a ton of bricks. She finally spoke through the sobs. "Can I take him home?" All Rayna could think about was being alone with him in their bed tonight, holding him in her arms and being as close to him as possible."

"I don't think you understand Mrs. Claybourne. Without the transplant he's never going home again. He can't survive any longer on his own without the help of the machines here in the hospital."

Rayna sat back down in the waiting room chair, gripping the arm for support. "Can I at least see him?"

"Yes, of course, come with me. I'll show you to his room."

Rayna followed the doctor down the long hallway to the room where Deacon would most likely die. He looked so small laying there in the middle of the bed with all those tubes attached to him. A far cry from the strong boy she'd met at The Bluebird all those years ago. Rayna thought how she'd give anything to go back there and relive all the days in between again, even the bad ones that were filled with heartbreak and broken furniture.

She sat down in the chair next to his bed and took Deacon's hand. When she touched him his eyes fluttered open. "Hey Ray." His voice was so weak she could barely hear him. "Hi babe."

"Guess you're never going to get to know where my surprise honeymoon destination was going to be."

Rayna laughed through the tears. Deacon had been teasing her since the wedding that as soon as he was better he'd planned a secret trip for their honeymoon. Each week he'd drop another hint, but they were so vague that Rayna was nowhere near being able to figure it out.

Deacon closed his eyes and pictured them on the beach in Mexico. He'd wanted to surprise her and take her back to the little beach town where they'd written "Postcards From Mexico" nearly 18 years ago now.

_He'd been on his second trip to rehab. The first one had been 30 days, but this trip had been court mandated due to a DUI and the judge had said 60. It was bad enough that Rayna had to play four weeks worth of shows without him, but he was also going to miss the two-week break that they'd planned in a tiny beach town near Tulum. _

_They'd been playing their 13__th__ show in a row without a day off when a guy in the road crew had told them about it. It sounded like heaven to Deacon and Rayna, two weeks alone without any fans screaming for their autographs, any managers asking for their next set list, and absolutely no demands on their time. They'd been looking forward to it for months. Deacon could tell Rayna was incredibly disappointed, but typical Rayna would never admit it. "It's alright babe. I just want you to get better. That's all that's important to me. We'll take the vacation some other time."_

"_No Ray, I'm the one who messed up here. You shouldn't have to suffer cause of my failures. You've been looking forward to this trip for a while baby. You should still go. Read your book, soak up the sun, relax. It'll only make me feel worse if know I kept you from this."_

_Rayna played with the hair at the nape of Deacon's neck. "Well, it's not going to be the same without you, but alright. Maybe some time alone would be good."_

_So Deacon headed to rehab and five weeks later Rayna hopped a plane to Mexico. She'd sent him a couple of postcards as soon as she got there. They didn't say much. "Palm trees and warm breezes don't compare to the sound of your voice." And: "Enjoying the sun, but would rather be seeing your white ass." That one made Deacon laugh so hard his roommate gave him a dirty look. _

_He was trying not to feel too down about missing the trip. After all, he'd been doing really well in rehab this time. He was sure this was the one that was going to stick, and if it did he'd never have to be separated from Rayna again. He was flipping through a magazine when one of the administrators came in. "Deacon Claybourne."_

"_Yep, that's me."_

"_We've had an issue with overcrowding. All mandated sentences have been shortened. You're free to go." Deacon couldn't believe how lucky he was. Two weeks early and a week left before their next show. He didn't even head home to pack. He just took the clothes he had at rehab, shoved them into his duffle bag and headed to the airport. Five hours later he had landed in Cancun and was in a cab headed towards the town of Akumal. When he got to the hotel he stowed his bag with the people at the front desk and headed to the bar. _

_The first time he was in a bar after rehab he was always a little shaky, but he just kept the thought of seeing Rayna in his head. He pulled up a stool and asked the bartender for a seltzer with a lime. The bartender raised and eyebrow and said "No cerveza?" but Deacon just shook his head. _

"_You speak any English?"_

"_A little bit. I work at a bar in Cancun during spring break. Lots of Americans up there partying, getting too drunk, making mistakes." _

"_Yeah, I've had my share of those nights. In fact, maybe I'm looking to make a mistake tonight. Any lovely single ladies hanging around this hotel?"_

"_Not many, this is hotel for lovers. Mostly couples stay here, and a few single men if you know what I mean." The bartender eyed Deacon in his cowboy boots, Wranglers, and short sleeve button down. "From the look of you though, I don't think they're what you're looking for."_

_Deacon laughed. "Nope, probably not. Any redheads? I have a thing for redheads."_

"_Actually you're in luck. There is a woman here by herself, red hair, real pretty, American, but I don't think she's looking to meet anyone. Comes here every night around 9:00. Sits in the bar, drinks a vodka and cranberry and reads her book. Stays for an hour or two, then heads to bed. Don't think she's the kind of girl you make a mistake with."_

_Deacon smiled and winked at the bartender. "All girls can be the kind you make a mistake with. You just need the right kind of guy." _

_An hour later there she was, right on time at 9:00. Deacon watched her as she made her way to the table in the corner by the beach. God she looked beautiful. She was wearing a light cotton sundress that hung off her shoulders and revealed the slightest hint of a sunburn. Her red hair was loose in waves, but it was a little messier than normal, no doubt from the wind and the sand. He guessed if he walked up to her and sniffed her right now she'd smell like coconut oil and the ocean. Man, he wanted to smell her, but he also wanted to be patient. It was a virtue that he tried hard to learn, especially while he was in rehab. Nearly six weeks away from her had been hell, and he was going to enjoy every second of this reunion. He watched her as she stretched out her perfectly tanned legs, propping her cork wedge sandals on rock by her table. She hadn't noticed him yet which gave Deacon an idea._

_He turned back towards the bartender. "That her?" He asked gesturing with his head toward Rayna. _

"_Si, La Americana."_

"_Have the waiter take her a whiskey and ginger ale."_

"_No, sir. She drinks vodka, vodka and cranberry."_

"_Yeah, I know, but tonight she'll drink whiskey."_

"_Rayna had acquired a taste for whiskey, she had to in the years she spent with Deacon. She liked it well enough. He knew it wasn't her favorite, but maybe just a little part of him wanted to be dangerous. He knew he shouldn't be anywhere near alcohol on his first night out of rehab, but the idea of tasting the whiskey on Rayna's lips just added to the excitement of the moment. _

_The waiter brought the drink to Rayna who was looking down at her book when he approached. "Excuse me miss. Whiskey and ginger ale from the gentleman at the bar."_

_Rayna looked up staring at the waiter. "What?" _

_The waiter placed the drink down on her table. "From the man at the bar."_

_Rayna looked over and there he was sitting on a stool only ten feet away. She was shocked and ecstatic all at the same time. She opened her mouth in excitement, but then noticed Deacon shaking his head and she settled down. She thanked the waiter for the drink and took a sip. She watched Deacon as he watched her from across the room. Finally he stood up and wandered over. "Is this seat taken?"_

"_Feel free." Deacon settled into the chair next to Rayna. Rayna took a few more sips of her drink as she smiled at him. "So am I harboring a fugitive?"_

"_No extradition here. I think we're safe."_

_Rayna made a gesture in protest but Deacon held up his hand to stop her. "I got an early release. Good behavior and all. Guess I lucked out this time." Deacon traced circles over the top of Rayna's hand with his finger. "Want to dance?" There was a small mariachi band playing sweet love songs on the other side of the bar, but there really wasn't any dance floor and no one in the bar was paying attention to anything other than their drinks and their companions. "Where are we going to dance? On the bar?"_

_Deacon stood up taking Rayna's hand. "Come on." He led her out to the beach to a spot where they could still hear the music but they were more isolated under the palms. Rayna removed her shoes and followed Deacon. He pulled her into his arms and the two of them began to sway back and forth. Rayna rested her head on Deacon's chest. It had seemed like forever since she'd seen him. Finding him here in this far away place where he wasn't supposed to be was like the best gift possible on Christmas morning. All she wanted was to unwrap him. _

_Deacon leaned over brushing his lips against her tender shoulders then sweeping kisses up her neck towards her ear. When he got there he took her lobe in his mouth and sucked it sensuously. Then he whispered "I want to fuck you so deeply and make you cum so hard that all you remember is my name."_

_Rayna's whole body shuttered at his words. She lifted her head and snaked her hand around into his hair pulling his head down so his lips met hers in a hungry kiss. Rayna moaned as he expertly swirled his tongue into her mouth. She pulled back just enough so her forehead was pressed against Deacon's. "I need you now." Deacon took Rayna's hand and turned to walk towards the bungalows but Rayna pulled him in the other direction. "No, here."_

"_On the beach?" Deacon asked with surprise._

_Rayna just nodded her head and walked him over to a more secluded area behind some rocks that revealed a cave. Once they reached their destination there was a flurry of hands. Buttons were undone, dresses pulled down, shirts pulled off and a pair of boots were laying on their side by the entrance. Deacon certainly made good on his promise to make her scream out his name. Luckily the waves crashing on the shore were slightly louder than Rayna, or Deacon may have gone straight from rehab to a Mexican jail. _

_They spent the rest of the week limbs tangled, drinking agua fresca in the private hammock that was tied to the tree outside of their bungalow. They wrote a couple of songs that week including "Postcards From Mexico," the song that would become one of their biggest hits. _

Deacon had envisioned them returning to that spot on the Gulf of Mexico, once again laying in the hammock writing songs and making love until their forty-something bodies couldn't take it anymore. He felt sad knowing that they probably weren't going to ever make it there. That this right here, this puke green hospital room with orange curtains is where their love story was most likely going to end. Rayna kept trying to tell him that he just needed to stay positive and he'd be home in a few days, but he could read it all over her face. That was the thing about them. He always knew what she was thinking, even when she didn't know it herself. He could see as plain as day that she thought he was going to die. No matter how hard she tried to hide it, she was never going to be able to keep anything from him.

Just then Maddie and Daphne ran into the room. "Dad!" Maddie threw herself at Deacon. "Are you alright?

"I'm okay kiddo. It's hard to keep me down."

Deacon had been sick for months, but the girls had never seen him like this and it frightened them to the core. Rayna could see it in their eyes and thought it was best to pull them out of the room for a bit. "Come on girls, let's give your dad a little rest, it's been a big day. The girls reluctantly followed Rayna out of the room.

"Why'd you pull us away from him?" Maddie asked tears in her eyes.

"I wanted to be honest with you ladies, but I didn't want to do it in front of Deacon cause I don't want him to know how sick he is. I want him to fight."

"How sick is he?" Dapne asked.

"Real sick sweet girl. The doctor says that without a transplant he only has a couple of weeks to live."

This made the girls cry even harder. "If you want we can go back in and sit with him for a while. I think he'd like that." Rayna and Daphne started to walk into Deacon's room, but Maddie hung back. "Aren't you coming?"

"In a minute. I just have to use the restroom."

"Alright." Rayna and Daphne entered Deacon's room while Maddie headed back out to the waiting room and up to the reporter who was still sitting there. "You're a reporter right?"

The shaken reporter looked up from his coffee cup. "Yes."

"You work for a local daily that has an online component? Your articles reach thousands of people?"

"Yes, we have a circulation of about 100,000 plus double with online traffic."

"So if you were going to post a story, say tonight you could reach over 100,000 people?"

"Yes, why?"

"Cause I have a story for you."


	14. Chapter 14

Rayna sat in a hard wooden chair next to Deacon's bed. She looked at the clock on the wall. It read 12:34 am. Bucky had taken the girls over to Teddy's around 10:00. It had been a fight with Maddie getting her to leave, but Rayna assured her that she could come back first thing in the morning.

Rayna had been watching Deacon sleep for hours now. She knew she should try to get a few winks herself, but she just couldn't seem to close her eyes. Every second of sleep was a second that she couldn't look at Deacon, and she was well aware that those moments could be coming to an end soon.

She was gently brushing the hair away from his face when a light from the hallway broke the darkness of the room. Rayna looked up to see Tandy standing there. She had just flown in from San Francisco. She had a few days off, and she knew that Rayna could use her support.

"How's it going in here?"

Rayna had been holding it together for the last few hours, but when she saw the concerned look on her sister's face she just broke down.

"I'm going to lose him Tandy. I'm going to lose him and there's nothing I can do."

"You don't know that?"

Rayna just shook her head. "All those years. I wasted all those years that I was with Teddy that we could have been together."

"Don't be silly. He was always around, and you had a good life with Teddy, at least for a while."

"It was a fine life, it just wasn't the life I wanted."

The sisters sat there in silence letting the weight of Rayna's statement sink in.

"You can't turn back time Rayna. You can only move forward and appreciate the time you did have with him."

"I'm not ready to say goodbye yet Tandy. I just can't. There's so much more of life that we're supposed to live together. So many more moments that I can see in my head that have yet to happen. We deserve those moments."

Tandy reached out and took Rayna's hand. "I know it seems impossible to think about now, but you'll have those moments Rayna. Someday you'll meet someone else, and you'll love each other and you'll have those moments with him."

Rayna pulled her hand back. "I know you're trying to help, but just no Tandy. There will never be anybody else. You more than anyone else in my life must realize that."

Rayna was right, Tandy did realize that. She may not understand the bond that her sister shared with Deacon, but she could see it plane as day. There would never be anyone else for Rayna, no matter how hard she tried. She may play the part of the bubbly country star, ecstatically happy with all life has to offer, but Tandy knew that every moment of the rest of Rayna's life that she had to spend without Deacon she'd be dead inside.

"You should get some sleep."

Rayna shook her head. "I can't, but you go Tandy." Rayna reached into her purse grabbing her keys. "Go sleep at my place. If you could grab the girls at 7:00 tomorrow I'd really appreciate it."

"Of course." Tandy took the keys and headed out. Right before she left she paused at the door. "He's a lucky man Rayna. You're a good wife to him."

"No Tandy, I've been the lucky one."

Tandy just nodded her head and slipped out, there was very little she could do for her sister now.

##

Rayna woke up with her face pressed halfway against Deacon's leg and the other half squished against the bed rail. She lifted her head and looked around the room. Deacon was still sleeping but she heard quite a commotion going on outside of his room. She stood up and opened the door peering outside. Maddie, Daphne, and Tandy were there talking to Deacon's specialist Dr. Rand.

"What's going on here?" Rayna asked.

"Hi Mrs. Claybourne. Your daughters were telling me that there are a bunch of people wanting to be tested to see if they're a match for Deacon, and I've been telling them that we'll test everyone, but we can only do a couple at a time so it may take a day or so."

"That's too late, what if he gets sicker in a day?" Maddie protested. "You have to do them now!"

"What people? Where are all these people coming from?"

Rayna was confused and looked to the girls for answers. "Well no one else was doing anything to save dad so I took matters into my own hands. I talked to the reporter last night and he wrote a story about dad. See, it's here." Maddie handed Rayna her phone that had the reporter's article pulled up. Rayna scrolled to the top skimming through.

"_Claybourne's Final Encore?" by Jack Berger. _

_It's a Thursday night, 2009. I'm sitting at The Bluebird Café a beer in hand, surrounded by a packed crowd. Despite the dozens of people who have crammed themselves into the small space, there is absolute silence in the room. That is except for the sound of a gravelly voice that rings out with the experience that comes from long nights on the road and early mornings with nothing but a cup of coffee to keep you company. Nashville singer songwriter Deacon Claybourne may have spent nearly half his life standing just behind wife Rayna Jaymes as her lead guitarist, but no one who has heard him sing in the round at The Bluebird would ever refer to him as backup. _

_His soulful songs are mostly a product of the years he was separated from Jaymes after succumbing to the perils that plague many musicians. Though he fought to get sober and won, the alcohol has had the last laugh. Claybourne and Jaymes' daughter Maddie tells me that he was diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the liver back in December, and the disease has ravaged the once brawny singer's body. "He's been trying real hard to stay positive, but we've just watched him get sicker and sicker. It's so hard to know that we might lose him."_

_Claybourne hadn't wanted anyone to know he was sick. If you've met him, he's not the type to feel sorry for himself. He'll drive halfway across the country to help out a friend who needs a guitarist for a gig, and has offered up his $10,000 Gibson on more than one occasion when a struggling musician just can't afford the sound he wants to reach, but he'll never ask for anything in return. His daughter said it was a battle with Claybourne to test family members to see if they were a match for a donor liver. "He didn't want anyone else to risk their lives when he feels he got himself in this predicament. He'd rather die than ask someone to save him, but we wanted to do it, we love him and we'd be lost without him." _

_Eventually the whole family did end up getting tested, but no one was a match. "Now the doctor says he has a couple of weeks to live. I just don't know what I'll do if he dies. I need my father." Maddie asked me if she could record a video message to go with the article and I agreed. Her message is below. _

Rayna pressed play on the video. There was Maddie crying asking anyone who knew her father and didn't want to let him die to please go right away to Vanderbilt Medical Center and get tested to see if they were a match. When the video was finished Rayna looked up into her daughter's big brown eyes. "Oh Maddie, you're father is going to hate this, but I love you for trying to save him."

"It is going to save him. Sixty people came down today to get tested. It's just a matter of getting the doctors to test all of them until they find the right one."

"We're doing our best Maddie," Dr. Rand replied. If we find someone who's a match we'll let you know right away."

"Really? Sixty people?" Rayna asked. "Who are they?"

They were a hodgepodge group made up of everyone from people Deacon wrote hit songs for to fans who had warn the grooves out on his records. Eventually the one person who matched Deacon's somewhat rare blood type was a thirty-five year old guitar player who Deacon had helped with some riffs at a show in Memphis fifteen years ago. "He changed my life," the guy said to Rayna when she asked why he'd do this. "Without him I would have quit music, gone back to Milwaukee, I'd be working at the Starbucks. Today I'm in a band travelling the country. We have a record deal."

The next few days were a blur. The man, Steve Adams, went through a series of tests, then Deacon had to go through another set before it was deemed acceptable to move forward with the surgery. After all that and nearly 8 months of him being sick, six hours later it was all over with, and Deacon was sleeping in recovery.

"How did it go?" Rayna asked when the doctor came out of the operating room to talk to them. She was so nervous she could barely speak.

"It went very well, but he's not out of the woods yet. We'll put him on anti-rejection medications to aid with the healing process. He'll be in intensive care for the next two days while we make sure that his body has accepted the new organ."

"If everything goes alright how long will he have to be here?"

"Eight to ten days, then he can head home. He'll need lots of rest, and he probably won't be feeling normal for about two to three months, but after that he can go back to his regular activities."

"That's it?" Rayna asked. "Two weeks here, then a couple of months at home and he's fine?"

"Well, we'll have to continue to monitor him, but yes, he should be fine."

Rayna couldn't believe her ears, after all this time worrying and waiting and watching Deacon get sicker and sicker she could hardly believe it would all be over with in a couple of months. Tears started to stream down her face.

"This is a good thing Mrs. Claybourne. You should be happy."

Rayna smiled through the tears. "I am, it's just, I never thought this day would come. I mean, I hoped for it, dreamed of it, but it always seemed so out of reach."

"Well, it's not anymore. He's out of surgery, he has a new liver, and hopefully in a couple of days we'll know for sure that his body hasn't rejected it and he'll be fine."

"Thank you doctor."

##

A few days later Deacon was out of intensive care and had been moved to a private room. Rayna dropped the girls off at school in the morning then returned to the hospital to be with Deacon when he woke up. When she walked in the door he was already sitting up watching TV.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Not bad considering I have a gigantic scar shaped like an upside down Y on my belly, though I do wish this TV got something other than daytime talk shows. I can't take another day of _The View_."

Rayna laughed. "Well if that's the worst of your problems today I'll take it." Rayna sat down on the bed next to Deacon and took his hand.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked.

"Nothing, it's just…you look so good. I haven't seen your normal color in months."

"Come on now Ray, you know you thought that sickly yellow color was sexy as hell. I think we've had more sex since I've been sick than we've ever had."

"Now that's just a boldfaced lie. Remember that time we didn't leave our bed up at the cabin for 4 days straight?"

"You mean the time I learned what a UTI was?"

Rayna gently swatted at his arm.

"That was quite a marathon. Maybe we could try that again when I'm all better."

"You can count on it babe." Rayna took Deacon's hand and held it to her face as the tears started to come.

"Hey now, what are the tears for baby?"

"I'm just so relieved and happy, you know? I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you."

Deacon pulled Rayna's hand to his mouth and kissed it softly. "Well you didn't, so now you're stuck with me till the end of time, so you better get used to it."

"I love you so much Deacon." Rayna leaned down so her face was next to Deacon's. He stroked her hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I love you too Ray, and when I'm out of here, we'll finally take our honeymoon in a location where they make things out of rope."

Rayna sighed as a smile appeared on her face. "You're the worst you know that."


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry I haven't worked on this story in a while, and I know it's a short chapter, but I promise I'll focus a little harder on it.**

##

Deacon was laying on the couch in the living room when he heard the doorbell ring. "Can someone get that?" he yelled, but no one seemed to come running. He gently lifted himself off of the sofa and walked to the door, opening it to reveal Juliette standing there with her eight-month old daughter.

"Hey, you shouldn't be out of bed. Don't these people take care of you here? What kind of family are they?"

"They're my family Juliette, and I love 'em. Not sure where they went. I heard something about a science project disaster and they needed more marshmallows, so I'm guessing at the supermarket. It's alright. The doctor said I should be moving around as long as it's not too much."

Juliette walked in placing the baby carrier on the counter. "Well it has been two months, so I guess it's okay."

"How's this little one?" Deacon asked peering into the carrier at the sleeping baby.

"Wonderful, horrible, a screamer like her mother."

Deacon smiled and brushed the little bit of hair off of her forehead. "Well she looks like a little angel to me."

"That's because she's not yours. Do you think you and Rayna are going to have another one?"

Deacon stood up straight and coughed into his hand. "I'm not even cleared for active duty yet, so let's just say a baby is the farthest thing from our minds at the moment."

"Really? Two months and you guys haven't…?"

"It's not that we haven't wanted to, but the doctor says I need a few more weeks. I did just have a liver transplant if you didn't realize that."

Juliette threw up her hands. "I'm just saying, I never thought you two could keep your hands off each other for long."

"Believe me, when I'm cleared you will not see us for a solid week. It's a good thing the girls have another father to live with."

As both Juliette and Deacon laughed the women in his life came rushing into the kitchen with a large bag of marshmallows spilling out of the satchel. "Juliette!" Maddie yelled. "Can I see the baby?"

"I want to see her too!" Daphne joined in as she tried to push Maddie out of the way of the carrier.

"There's plenty of baby to go around girls. Just wait until I'm asking them to babysit every weekend. Then they won't be fighting over her."

"No, we'd love to have her here Juliette," Rayna chimed in. "Whenever you need a break. It would be just lovely to have a little baby girl in this house again."

Rayna leaned down to make googly sounds with the now waking baby, and Juliette gave Deacon a look that said "see, look how she's cooing over her."

Deacon chose to ignore her. "This might just be a little too much excitement for me. I'm going to go lay down if it's okay with you ladies? Juliette, it was great seeing you and little Kaya as always. Can't wait to teach her guitar."

"Well I'm just glad you're going to be around to teach her. I'm holding you to that."

Deacon bid his farewells and went upstairs to lie down. In the meantime the girls lost interest in the baby and went back to their science project leaving Juliette and Rayna alone in the kitchen.

"So how's he doing? Really." Juliette asked.

Rayna sat down on one of the stools by the counter. "Some days are better than others. It's a slow improvement, but at least it's an improvement. Before the transplant it was like watching a permanent slow slide downhill. I was so scared I would lose him. Now I know he's getting better, things will return to normal. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost him Juliette. Without Deacon, things in my life just don't make sense."

Juliette reached out putting her hand on top of Rayna's. "Hey, he got the transplant. It's going to be okay." Juliette squeezed Rayna's hand and she looked up at her through slightly teary eyes. "Thanks Juliette. I know he would never say it but it means a lot to him that you come to visit every week."

"Hey, don't think I'm not doing it for selfish reasons, my new album needs some help in the guitar area on some of my tracks. I'm just waiting for him to be ready to pick one up again." Juliette and Rayna smiled at each other.

"I'll tell him you said that. He'll grumble about being more than a guitar player, but he'll love it."

"I should really be going, but I'll be seeing you guys next week." Juliette picked up her daughter, pulling the little baby hat down to cover her shock of hair before heading out the door.

Rayna climbed the stairs to her bedroom looking in on Maddie and Daphne who were hard at work on Daphne's project before heading in to her own room. When she opened the door Deacon was in his pajamas lying in bed. Rayna started getting ready for bed herself. She slipped out of her clothing and removed her makeup as Deacon watched. "Juliette said you better get well fast cause she needs a guitarist on some of her tracks."

"That's funny she told me I should get better fast so I could take care of your womanly needs."

"Well I'm all in favor of that." Rayna said raising an eyebrow while scanning her eyes down Deacon's body.

"She also asked me if we're thinking about having any more children."

"Really?" Rayna turned around stopping what she was doing to face Deacon. "More children? How old does she think I am?"

"You're not that old Ray."

"I'm almost 44 Deacon, that is definitely pushing the limit of baby making. Does it even matter? Do you want more kids?"

"I don't know. It wasn't a top priority, but now that she mentioned it, having another little baby around here might be kind of nice. I mean, I missed out on it the first time round."

Rayna got quiet. She knew she was to blame for Deacon missing out on Maddie's childhood, and it hurt her that she could never give that back to him. Rayna walked over sitting on the bed next to Deacon. She picked up his hand caressing it. "If you want to have another baby, we can certainly try, but I'm not promising anything. It's not so easy for women my age to get pregnant, and there can often be complications."

"I know, and I'm not saying that's what I want, but I just think we should keep it on the table as an option."

Rayna leaned down kissing Deacon. "Well, there's one thing we're going to have to start doing again before it can even _be_ an option."

Deacon smiled up at her. "Doctor said two to three weeks and it should be fine."

"Mmm," Rayna purred as she kissed him again. "I miss you so much babe. I just want to be close to you."

Deacon took Rayna's face in his hands. "I want that too baby. More than anything. Soon, I promise. In the meantime, I can hold you."

Rayna lay down snuggling into Deacon. "I like that idea."

"We have our whole life ahead of us Rayna, something a couple of months ago I didn't think was possible. The possibilities are endless."

Rayna snuggled deeper into Deacon squeezing him a little as she ran her hand up and down his body. "As long as we're together babe, that's all that matters."

As Rayna and Deacon drifted off to sleep, both dreamed of all the possibilities that now lay ahead of them, and they were going to make sure they weren't going to waste a minute of it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for all the reviews. Here's the chapter a lot of you, as well as Rayna and Deacon have been waiting for **

##

Three months, 4 days, and 8 hours. That was how much time had passed since Deacon had last made love to Rayna. Granted he was pretty sick for a good portion of that time so it wasn't at the forefront of his mind, but the last three weeks had been particularly rough. He had felt almost like himself physically, and mentally he was certainly back to tip top condition, which meant his thoughts were focused intensely on the woman that was sharing his bed every night.

When he had gone in for a check up two weeks ago the doctor had told him it was best to give his body a little more time to heal before engaging in sexual activity, but this morning he had been fully cleared. The girls were staying at Teddy's this week, and Rayna had a big meeting at Highway 65 at noon, but he had instructed Bucky to make sure the rest of her week was clear. Deacon drove home and practically ran up into their bedroom. He pulled out a suitcase threw a couple of pairs of pants and some shirts in it for him, and did the same for Rayna. He perused her make-up shelf before giving up and just grabbing her toothbrush and something that said daily moisturizer that had some SPF in it. "Whatever, she won't need anything where we're going, we probably won't even be getting out of bed."

Deacon looked down at his watch. It was 2:15 and he was sitting in the parking lot outside of the Highway 65 offices. Three months, 4 days, and 9 hours. Maybe they could have a quickie in the bathroom? No, too many bad memories associated with that bathroom, plus he wanted to take his time with her.

When he got upstairs he zeroed in on Rayna. She was still in the conference room chatting with some CD distribution execs. Rayna glanced up and spotted him giving him a quick wave. A minute later she excused herself for a moment and came out of the conference room. "Hey babe," she said kissing him softly. "What are you doing here? I thought you were working on a song today?"

"I was, but now I'm kidnapping you."

"What?" Rayna laughed. "Kidnapping? I'd love to babe, but I am knee deep in this negotiation."

"Seriously?" Rayna could see the disappointment on Deacon's face, something she never wanted to cause. "Bucky promised me this meeting would be wrapped by 2:00."

"You've been planning this with Bucky? Am I going to have to bring him up on conspiracy charges?"

"Well not if you can't come."

"Well, where are we going?"

Deacon shook his head. "Oh no, that's a surprise."

"I thought maybe I could meet you there later?"

"Nope, we're heading together and we won't be back until Sunday."

"Sunday? I can't be gone until Sunday. It's Thursday. I have so much to do."

"Nope, checked your schedule, it's all clear after this meeting. I made sure."

"That's a lot of planning for you. What's the occasion?"

"Well, let's just say I went to see the doctor this morning, and I'm all clear."

The look on Rayna's face suddenly went from perplexed to elated. "Oh! Crap. Let me see how quickly I can finish this up. Maybe another 45? Can you wait?"

"Baby I've been waiting three months, 4 days, and…" Deacon looked at his watch. "Nine and a half hours. I can wait a little more if I have to. "Or," Deacon wrapped an arm around Rayna's waist, "You could take a 15 minute break and we could visit that utility closet around the corner."

Deacon could see that Rayna was seriously thinking about that for a minute then she looked back at the conference room and sighed. "No, I have to finish this, plus, I want to take my time with you."

Deacon smiled. "That's what I thought too."

Rayna gave him another quick kiss and ran her hand down his chest. "I'll be as fast as I can, I promise."

Deacon watched as Rayna headed back into the conference room. He knew he was probably to blame for her not quite getting the deal she wanted, but an hour and 15 minutes later Rayna was waving goodbye to the execs and jumping into Deacon's pick-up truck.

"Let's go home so I can pack a bag."

"Already packed one," Deacon said as he headed out onto the real Highway 65.

Rayna raised an eyebrow. "You packed a bag for me? What did you pack, underwear?"

"Actually, I may have forgotten that, but I don't think you'll be needing it."

"Is that a promise?"

Deacon looked over at her giving her a wink. Rayna snuggled up against Deacon planting kisses on his neck and running her hand over his chest and legs. "Ray, that feels amazing, but you're going to make me crash the car."

"Oops, sorry babe." Rayna leaned back towards her seat. "I couldn't help myself."

An hour later Rayna looked up from her phone. "We heading to the cabin?"

"Guess it's not really a secret at this point. Should be there in thirty."

"You know the last time we made love at the cabin was when we conceived Maddie?"

Deacon got quite. "You know I don't remember that."

Rayna reached over putting her hand on Deacon's. "I'm sorry babe. You might not, but I do, and I can tell you, it was pretty wonderful. We were on the bare skin rug in front of the fire. You'd just asked me to marry you, I was so happy. It felt so amazing to be close to you."

Deacon squeezed Rayna's hand. "You know I'd give anything to remember anything from that night, right?"

"Hey, that was a long time ago, and because of that night we have our beautiful daughter, that's all the memento you need. And you and I did get married, and you remember that, and I promise you, we'll make some pretty amazing memories up there this week."

Rayna finally saw Deacon's smile return as he turned to look at her. "Yeah, we will."

##

A half-hour later Rayna and Deacon were pulling up to the cabin. Deacon grabbed her hand tugging her towards the front door. "We forgot our bags." Rayna said as she followed Deacon across the wooden planks of the porch.

"We'll get 'em later." Before she knew what happened he had the door open and her top was on the floor. He had her pants off before they hit the kitchen. He backed her up against the counter hard so she could feel him press into her. "Mmm," she hummed. Rayna reached for Deacon's belt buckle as his teeth and tongue made a path down her neck to her breasts and his fingers dipped into her swirling in a clockwise motion. "Damn, babe I'm going to cum right here and we're barely naked."

"First of many times this weekend I hope." Deacon leaned down taking her mouth with his sucking on her full lips until he could feel the vibrations from her moans reverberate through his own body.

"Oh god, not yet. Take me to the bedroom." Rayna panted.

Deacon walked her back towards the bedroom laying her down on the bed. He stood above her unbuttoning his shirt. As he dropped it on the floor Rayna sat up tenderly tracing Deacon's scar with her index finger. "Does it hurt?" she asked.

"No, just feels a little weird."

Rayna followed the path of her finger with her tongue starting higher at the base of his chest and ending right above his navel. When she continued below the end point she sent shivers through Deacon's body. "Oh baby, I've missed this so much." He ran his fingers through her hair and brought her mouth to his kissing her deeply as they both lay back on the bed, the weight of Deacon's healthy body hovering above her. "You feel so good," she whispered into his ear before dipping her tongue inside making him quiver and stiffen even more than he had been. As he pressed inside of her all thoughts of the long illness disappeared and were replaced with the shear joy of making it through this tough time and coming out stronger on the other end. Both relished in how amazing it felt to be close again. Rayna pulled him to her as tears dripped down her face. "What's wrong baby?" Deacon asked.

Rayna shook her head as she looked into his eyes. "I was so scared I was going to lose you."

Deacon ran his thumb from Rayna's eye down her cheek brushing her tears away. "But you didn't. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere…I promise."

"I love you, so much Deacon."

"I love you too Ray." Deacon continued rocking into Rayna bringing her to her first orgasm of the week, but certainly not her last.

"Three months, four weeks, and 12 and a half hours," Deacon said at he rolled over taking Rayna with him.

"Hopefully the longest we'll every have to go for the rest of our lives."

"Now that's a promise."

##

By Saturday Rayna was laying on the bare skin rug in one of Deacon's t-shirts listening to Lucinda Williams while Deacon cooked bacon and pancakes on the range. "Breakfast's ready," Deacon said as he placed the plates on the coffee table. Rayna grabbed a peace of bacon with one hand and started nibbling on it as she grabbed Deacon pulling him towards her with the other. "Come join me."

"You know if I join you on the rug the food is going to be cold by the time we get to it."

"Uh huh. I like my pancakes cold, but I like my man hot." Rayna pulled down Deacon's sweatpants as he fell to his knees besides her.

"You know you're going to land me back in the hospital at this rate."

"I think it'll be worth it," Rayna said as she rolled on top of Deacon.

Afterwards they lay wrapped up in blankets on the rug holding each other and feeding one another pieces of pancake.

"This is amazing Ray, but I do admit I kind of miss the girls."

"Yeah, me too. We'll see them tomorrow night."

"They're growing up so fast, I feel like before we know it they'll be out of the house."

"Tell me about it. Feels like just yesterday they were in diapers, now Maddie's getting her license and Daph is going to her first school dance."

"You know that option we were talking about before? Maybe we should put it back on the table."

"You mean another baby?"

"Yeah, I think it might be nice to have another little one around the house."

"Rayna lay back on the rug looking up at the ceiling. "Are you sure Deacon? Babies aren't all cute smiles and tiny socks. They're late nights without sleep, poopy diapers, and crying so hard you wanna tear your hair out. "

"I know what a baby is Ray. It's just I've never gotten the chance to do it, and I kind of always wanted to."

Rayna looked at the man she loved more than anything in the world. All she wanted to do was make him happy. She ran her hand over his face stroking his stubble. "Okay, I'll stop my birth control. We'll see how things go."

"Great!" Deacon pulled Rayna into his arms holding her tight. "I can't wait until you start getting fat."

Rayna swatted him. "I would not get fat. Just pleasantly swollen."

Deacon laughed. "No, seriously. I can't imagine anything more wonderful than knowing that our child is growing inside of you." Deacon ran his hands over Rayna stomach. "You are so beautiful, and you're only going to be more beautiful then."

"Did you think I was beautiful when I was pregnant with Maddie?"

"I thought you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and that's when I thought you were carrying Teddy's baby."

"Well, you may have thought that, but I knew she was yours. I loved having your baby grow inside of me. I really did." Rayna leaned over kissing Deacon's face tenderly. "Despite the fact we weren't together at the time, there was no better feeling in my life."

"Yeah?" Deacon asked running his hand through Rayna's hair.

"Uh huh. Hey babe?"

"Yeah Ray?"

"Let's start trying right now."

Deacon smiled down at her. "Coming right up."


	17. Chapter 17

**Wow, so I've gotten so far away from the original premise of this story (and a couple of years further down the road in time), but I'm still enjoying writing it, so I'll continue for a little longer.**

##

Deacon stood outside the open bathroom door peering in as Rayna sat on the closed toilet seat in her pajamas. He shifted back and forth on his feet and played with the door handle. "You've got to stop that," Rayna said. "It's driving me crazy."

Deacon immediately stopped what he was doing and stood up straight. "Sorry baby, I'm just nervous. I really feel like this time could be the one that takes."

Deacon and Rayna had been trying for six months to have a baby to no avail. What started off as fun impromptu sex session anywhere and everywhere including the office, the car, and even once in a restaurant bathroom, had turned into scheduled times that were written down in an appointment book like a trip to the dentist. "How much longer?" Deacon asked.

Rayna checked her watch. "Thirty seconds. Come here babe." Rayna reached out her hand to Deacon and he took it standing above her. "Let's look at it together." Thirty seconds later they flipped over the little white stick to reveal a blue negative symbol. "Not pregnant," Rayna sighed. "Maybe it's time to head to the doctor to see if there's something else we could be doing?"

Deacon sat down on the floor next to her and kissed her hand. "Okay, I'll make the appointment."

##

Two weeks later Rayna and Deacon were sitting in Dr. Klein's office flipping through brochures for birthing classes when she walked in. "Deacon, Rayna, so good to see you guys again. We got your results back from the tests we did last week."

"Is everything okay doc?" Deacon asked.

"Well, it's not "not" okay. Things seem to be pretty average for the two of you for your age group. Rayna, at this age you're not producing as many viable eggs as you once were. I'd have to say that there's only about a 5% chance of you getting pregnant on your own now that you're approaching 45. And Deacon, your sperm count is rather low, but you are in your mid-forties, and considering the issues with your liver and all the medications you had to be on, I'm not surprised about that."

"So basically it would take a miracle for us to get pregnant?" Rayna asked.

"Well, not a miracle, but it won't be as easy as it was when you had Maddie."

Deacon reached over and took Rayna's hand in his caressing it with his thumb.

"What can we do to increase our chances?" Deacon asked.

"Well, there's IVF. That usually increases your chance to about 17%, but it's not an easy process. There's injections and invasive procedures."

"Okay, we could do that."

Rayna looked at Deacon with surprise, but didn't say anything in response.

The doctor continued. "And if that doesn't work, a lot of other celebrities have used egg donors."

"Oh no, we wouldn't want that." Rayna and Deacon said together, then Rayna continued. "We already have two girls, if we're not going to have one of our own, it doesn't seem worth it."

"I see. Would you two like a moment alone to discuss your options?"

"Yes, that would be nice." The doctor left and Rayna turned to Deacon. "Are you sure this is what you want babe? You'd have to give me injections, I'd be all hormonal and emotional."

"So, you'd be that way if you were pregnant too." Deacon smiled at Rayna with one of the warmest most loving smiles she'd ever seen. She was unsure if this was a good idea, but she could never deny Deacon anything that he wanted.

"Alright babe, but let's just start with the injections and go from there.."

##

"Ouch!" Rayna yelled as Deacon stuck her with the needle. "I thought you'd be better than this. How can someone so dexterous on the guitar be so bad with giving a simple shot?"

"Sorry baby. I'm trying." Deacon leaned down and kissed Rayna's hip where he had just marred her. Then he moved his mouth around to more sensitive areas. "Oh babe, that feels so good, but remember what the doctor said, we should really be particular about when we have sex."

Deacon sighed and stood up pulling her close. "I know, but I want you right now."

Rayna pulled down her skirt smoothing it, and dangled her arms around Deacon's neck, hovering her mouth near his. "I want you too, but it's not ideal until Thursday."

Deacon released a low growl before letting go of Rayna. "I am going to show you a hell of a good time on Thursday. In fact, I am not going to let you out of bed all day."

Rayna leaned into him giving him a soft kiss. "Now that's all I'm going to be dreaming about for the next few days."

##

The next day Deacon got a call from his label. Now that he was well again they were pushing him to come out with the second album that he'd promised them in his contract. "We finally got some studio time booked for you Deacon. Thursday and Friday, 6:00 am to Midnight. We're just going to bang this album out."

"This Thursday?" Deacon asked.

"Yeah, it's not too soon is it? You said you had a bunch of songs just waiting."

"Yeah, I do, it's not that. It's just that I had plans this Thursday with Rayna and well, she's heading off to California on Friday for a promotional event that's taking her through the weekend."

"Listen, the studio is already booked and we have to get this album out, I know you were sick, but we've put this off way past what you promised. We have to get it done now."

"Alright," Deacon conceded. "Thursday it is." As he hung up the phone he thought to himself, "Rayna was not going to be happy with this development." He walked down to her home office where she was listening to some new demos. She lit up when she spotted him.

"Hey babe, I think I found someone I like. Give a listen." Deacon walked over to the CD player and hit stop.

"Hey, what did you do that for?" Rayna said sitting up in her chair.

"We have to talk Ray."

"Alright, you sound serious."

"It's not really, it's just, I have to record my new album this week. The label already booked my studio time."

"Alright, that's fine when is it?"

"Thursday. All day from early in the morning till late at night."

"Thursday! Deacon, that's our day."

"I know, but I have to get this done Ray."

"I can't believe you're doing this to me. It was your idea to have the baby in the first place and now you're bailing."

"I'm not bailing Rayna, I just have to work."

"Are you even going to be around when we have a baby, or will I be raising this one on my own?"

"Hey, that's not fair. It's one day Ray, and I'm not the one heading to California."

Rayna sat down and started to cry. "I know, I'm sorry. I've just been so goddamn hormonal with all these shots, and now it feels like it was for nothing."

"We'll do it next month baby. One month isn't going to matter."

Rayna nodded her head and pulled Deacon towards her. He reached down holding her face and wiping the tears from her eyes. "Okay," she said. "Next month."

"Does that mean I can make love to you now?" Deacon asked.

Rayna rubbed her nose against Deacon and moved her hands around to his butt. "Uh huh."

Deacon leaned in kissing Rayna deeply. "See, this didn't turn out so bad after all."

##

A week and a half later Rayna was back from California and Deacon was back to giving her the injections. "I think I'm getting better at this Ray."

"Let me be the judge of that." Rayna felt a twinge as he gave her the shot. "Better?" He looked up at her with those big blue eyes.

"Better." She nodded.

"Mom, dad!" Maddie yelled from downstairs. Rayna went to the door and walked to the top of the stairs. "What's up sweet girl?"

"Is it alright if I go out with Talia and Cara tonight?"

Rayna headed down the stairs. "I thought we were having family night tonight? Your dad was going to make his lasagna and we were talking about playing a board game."

Maddie refused to make eye contact with her mom at first, then she finally looked at her. "I know but…you guys just aren't fun lately. All you ever talk about is getting pregnant. I'm 16, the last thing I want to think about is getting pregnant."

"Well if it involves you, that better be the last thing you're thinking about."

Maddie gave Rayna a typical teenager look that said she was being crazy. "Come on let's sit down." Rayna said in response.

They settled in on the couch and Rayna brushed a piece of Maddie's hair off her face like she did when she was a child. "I know your dad and I didn't really talk to you girls when we decided to have another child, are you not okay with this?"

"No, I'm fine with it, it would be kind of fun to have another little sister or brother, but you guys have been the worst lately. I thought things were going to get better once dad was well again, but it's almost more tense. You're always stressed, you and dad have been fighting all the time, and if these are the mood swings that women have when they're pregnant, then I NEVER want to have a baby."

Rayna laughed. "Well, I can't really do anything about the mood swings, and I know your father and I have been on edge, but I promise this won't last long."

"What if it does? I don't know what I'd do if you and dad got a divorce."

"Hey, your father and I are not getting a divorce Maddie. Married people fight, it happens. It doesn't mean we've stopped loving each other."

"Yeah, but you and my other dad never fought, and you got divorced. You and Deacon yell."

Rayna nodded her head slowly. "Yes sometimes we yell, and Teddy and I didn't really ever yell at each other. I know this might sound weird, but Deacon and I yell at each other because we love each other so much. It's not that I didn't love Teddy, it just wasn't in the same way I love Deacon. Deacon and I yell because we care so much, and because we know that no matter how many fights we get in, or how mad we are at each other we're never walking away. We are not getting a divorce Maddie, okay."

"Alright, but can I still hang out with Talia and Cara tonight?"

Rayna sighed and threw up her hands. "Fine, go."

Maddie jumped up and kissed Rayna on the cheek. "Thanks mom you're the best." She grabbed her purse and ran out as Deacon was walking into the room. "Where's that whirlwind heading?"

"Out with her friends. Apparently we're not fun enough for her anymore."

Deacon walked over and sat down on the couch next to Rayna wrapping his arm around her. "Well the little one is still hanging with us tonight, right?"

"Yeah, she'd never pass up lasagna."

"So what's wrong Ray?"

"Nothing, it's just, the past few months have been kind of hard, especially coming off of the year we had last year."

Deacon pulled Rayna closer to him. "I know, but it will all be worth it when we're holding that little baby in our arms."

Rayna leaned into Deacon resting her head on his chest. "I hope so babe, I hope so."


	18. Chapter 18

**I seem to be flying through this story now that I have off for the holidays. Glad everyone is enjoying this.**

##

Deacon cuddled up behind Rayna snaking his arm around her and pulling her against him as she slept. As he swept kisses against the back of her neck he felt her stir. "Morning baby, it's ovulation day," he said as his hand slid down her stomach resting between her thighs. Rayna moved her hand back running it through his hair. "Not now Deacon, I don't feel so well."

Deacon pulled back and lightly kissed her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Rayna turned around so she was looking up at him. "I don't know, I just feel kind of nauseous."

Deacon's eyes lit up. "Maybe you're pregnant!"

Rayna shook her head. "How could I be pregnant? We haven't had sex since my last period." Rayna knew that came out a little harsher than she'd wanted it to, but maybe it had been bothering her more than she'd realized. She tried to turn her head so Deacon couldn't see the frustration in her eyes.

"Hey, look at me," Deacon said gently turning her face with his hand so she couldn't avoid contact. "Are you okay? Maybe these hormones aren't the best idea. If you want to stop them Ray, you should do that. I don't want you to be doing anything that makes you sick."

"No, I'm fine. It's not that bad. It's probably just a bug. I'm sure I'll be better by tomorrow."

Deacon brushed the hair away from Rayna's face and kissed her forehead. "Alright, as long as you're okay. There is nothing more important to me in this world than you, well, you and the girls. I just love you so much Ray, and I want to make you happy."

Deacon could see a slight moistness glazing over Rayna's eyes. "I love you too, and I am happy. You make me happy. I thank god every day that you're here with me."

Deacon leaned down and lightly kissed Rayna. "I'll go make you some tea, okay?"

A smile broke across Rayna's face. "Yes, please!"

##

Later that day Deacon was in the studio mixing one of the last tracks on his album with Avery. "I think we need to bring up the guitar a little bit in the chorus. What do you think?" Avery asked.

Deacon just sat there lost in thought. "Deacon? Hello, Deacon." Deacon startled back into reality. "Sorry, man, I was just thinking about something."

"Yeah, a million miles away. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just a funny feeling. Rayna and I have been real stressed lately with all this trying to have a baby, and I feel like maybe it's starting to take a toll on us."

"Do you even want a baby? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love being a father, my daughter is amazing, but I'm 35 and she's running me ragged. I can't imagine doing this when I'm pushing 50."

"You saying that I'm old?" Deacon laughed.

"No man, I mean, more power to you for trying this at what are you? 48?" Deacon nodded. "It's just, have you really thought about what it's going to be like? Juliette and I barely get any sleep, every time we try to have sex Kaya comes wandering into our bedroom at the most inopportune moments, I don't have a piece of clothing that doesn't have spit up on it anymore, and the other day I walked into our music room to discover her banging on one of my Martin's with a shoe. I don't know man, you strike me as the type of guy who's pretty particular about his guitars. Maybe it's a good thing you missed out on the younger years."

Deacon thought about everything Avery said. "I don't know. Maybe. It's just hard when I look at Maddie I feel like I missed so many years of her life."

"First of all, I've seen that girl with you, and she is most definitely a daddy's girl. She adores you."

Deacon smiled thinking of how well and he and Maddie get on.

"Just make sure that you're doing this cause you want a new baby, and not because you want to get Maddie's childhood back, cause that's not happening. You need to let that go. Yeah, you missed a few of the early years, but you have the rest of her life to be there. You'll be there when she goes to prom, when she graduates from college, when she gets married, you'll be there when she has your grandkids and I bet by then you'll appreciate being able to give 'em back."

Deacon pondered Avery's words. "And it wasn't that long ago that I thought I wasn't going to have any of that."

"You have two beautiful daughters, don't be so hard on yourself."

Deacon nodded his head. "Yeah, you're giving me some things to think about."

"Great, glad I could help, now what are you thinking about this guitar?"

##

Rayna dropped off the girls at school and picked up Tandy at the airport. She was in town for three days and Rayna was going to take full advantage of this rare time with her sister. "I miss you so much. I'm glad you're enjoying San Fran, but I hate not having you in Nashville. I need to make more female friends."

"I thought you were hanging out with Sadie some?"

"I was before everything started happening with Deacon and his illness, but I've been pretty family centric since then."

"Well maybe it's time to branch out a bit and foster some relationships outside of your immediate circle."

Rayna sighed. "That hasn't been easy with all the injection giving and sex scheduling. There isn't much time for relaxation. I can't remember the last time Deacon and I just sat and wrote."

Tandy started slowly. "I didn't really want to talk to you about this on the phone, but what are doing Rayna? You just got through a terrible illness with your husband, you've been trying to build up your business, you finally got the girls to the point where they're pretty self-sufficient. Do you even really want a new baby?"

Tandy could see the pained look on Rayna's face. "Deacon wants a baby, and I want Deacon to be happy."

"Rayna, you can't just have a baby to make your husband happy. You're the one who actually has to grow the baby inside of you, give birth, then it's another decade before you're starting to relax again. This isn't a decision you make on a whim. You have two kids already, you know what a big deal this is."

"I do, it's just. I love Deacon so much, and I know I took that away from him Tandy. His time being a daddy when the girls were little, I took that from him, it's my fault he never got to sing Maddie to sleep, or see her first steps."

"Oh Rayna, I know you feel guilty, but it wasn't 100% you. If he had never started drinking like that he _would_ have been there."

"But he was sober by the time Maddie was born…I just wish things had gone differently you know?"

Tandy rubbed her sister's back. "I know Rayna, but you don't seem happy, and that baby is going to feel that. So I'm asking you again. Do you want a baby?

Rayna thought for a minute choosing her words carefully before she spoke. "I would love any child that Deacon and I have together unconditionally…but no, I don't really want another child. Maddie and Daphne are enough for me."

"Well then I think you need to speak to Deacon. He'll understand Rayna."

The tears started to fall down Rayna's cheeks as she turned onto Granny White Rd. "I hope so."

##

Deacon walked into the living room and threw his wallet and keys on the counter. "Where are Tandy and the girls? I thought this house was going to be a cacophony of estrogen when I walked in."

"Tandy took them shopping and to dinner. She's playing the part of the spoiling aunt."

"Better her than us."

"Babe, why don't you come sit down with me. I think we need to talk."

Deacon got a concerned look on his face as he took a seat next to Rayna on the couch. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine, the girls are fine. Nothing to worry about."

"Good."

"It's just, babe you know I love you more than anything right?"

"Of course. I love you too Ray." Deacon took her hand kissing the back of it and running his thumb over her knuckles."

Rayna turned so she was facing him. "I want you to be happy, and I want you to have everything in life that you want."

"I have everything in life that I want Ray. I have you, and I have the girls. All I've ever wanted was a family with you."

"Me too, and we have that." Deacon nodded. "But…I don't think I want another baby. I'm just too old, too tired. There's other things in life that I want to experience now besides being a mother. I loved having your baby, and I wouldn't trade that for anything, but I just don't think I could do it again at this point in my life. Truthfully, I'm kind of selfish. I don't want to share you. I will miss the girls like crazy when they go off to college in a couple of years, but I'm also kind of looking forward to it just being the two of us."

"How long have you felt this way Rayna?"

"I don't know. All along I guess."

"Then why didn't you say something? Why did you go along with all this if you didn't want to have another baby?"

"I know that I took that chance away from you with Maddie, and I just wanted to give it back to you."

Deacon rubbed his hands over his face before turning back to Rayna. "Ray, I don't blame you for the way things went with Maddie. We were young, I was a mess, and you were just doing what you thought was best for her. I don't want you to do something you don't want to do because you feel guilty."

Rayna looked down at her hands. "I love you Rayna, I am so happy that I'm alive, and I get to spend the rest of my life with you, Maddie, and Daphne. That's enough. Yes, I thought the idea of a new baby sounded good, but only if you're equally excited. I want to experience that joy with you, but if that's not what you're feeling, I don't want it either. You have to be honest with me Rayna. I thought we decided that was rule one of our marriage. No more lying."

"I wasn't lying, I guess I was just trying to talk myself into something that maybe I didn't really want so much."

"Like you did with Luke? Or with Teddy? I thought you weren't doing that anymore?"

Rayna smiled through her tears. "Old habits die hard."

"Tell me about it. I could never quit you."

Rayna reached up stroking his face. "I'm glad you didn't." She leaned in kissing him. The kiss started off small, but it had been so long since they had just kissed and touched each other for the shear pleasure of it, that it quickly deepened until hands were roaming under shirts and Rayna was on top of Deacon. Deacon pulled back a little as he unbuttoned her shirt. "I think this is the first time in history the decision _not_ to have a baby has inspired sex."

Later that night Deacon and Rayna were laying in bed wrapped up in each other's arms. "You know we never took that honeymoon trip," Deacon said as he curled into Rayna.

"Where were you going to take me?"

"Oh no, we're still going, and it's still going to be a surprise."

"Deacon we don't have to have a honeymoon. We've been married for over a year now."

"I know, but we're going to take that trip. How about three weeks from now when my album is done and the girls are at Teddy's. Can you get the week off?"

"I'll check with Bucky and see if I can clear my schedule."

"Perfect. I love you Ray, and I love that you'd do anything for me, cause I'd do anything for you."

Rayna ran her fingers through Deacon's hair. "You know how lucky we are?"

"I do. If there's anything I know, it's that." Deacon gazed down at his wife adoringly. "Now let's get some sleep. Those three women are going to run us over tomorrow."

Deacon shut off the light and snuggled into Rayna and before his head even hit the pillow they were asleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**This is the last chapter. Sorry for people who wanted a baby, but I never planned to write it that way, and thought it was more realistic that she couldn't/didn't want to get pregnant. Thought I'd end with the honeymoon for some fun.**

##

Rayna was rushing around the bedroom packing her bag. "You said warm right? As in I need a bikini warm?"

"Yep." Deacon nodded before throwing some swim trunks in his own bag. They had dropped the girls off at Teddy's at 6:00am this morning and meant to start packing at 7:00 which would have given them plenty of time before their car service was coming to take them to the airport at 8:30, but they had gotten a little distracted when they had arrived back at the house. No kids had meant the opportunity to have some fun in rooms other than the bedroom, and Deacon and Rayna had taken full advantage.

Deacon's phone rang and he reached to grab it. "Hey. Yeah, of course. What today? I'm going on my honeymoon in twenty minutes. Seriously? Alright , I'll be there." Deacon hung up the phone and sat down on the bed.

"What do you mean you'll be there?" Rayna asked. "Be where? We're heading to the airport."

Deacon looked up at Rayna with his big puppy dog eyes. "I'm going to have to meet you there."

"Are you kidding me? You're going to meet me at the airport? What if you miss the flight?"

Deacon stood up wrapping his arms around Rayna. "No, I'm going to have to meet you at our destination. There's an issue with the album. I have to re-lay down the vocals on one of the tracks. It'll only take a day or so. I should be there by tomorrow night."

Rayna pulled back, releasing herself from his grasp. "Deacon this is our honeymoon, you cannot not come to the first couple of days of our honeymoon." Rayna sat down on the bed. "I guess we'll have to reschedule."

"Don't be silly. It's all planned. I promise I'll be there. You can start working on your tan."

Rayna threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "I don't even know where we're going."

"The car will take you to the terminal, and when you check in with United you'll find out. There's another car waiting for you on the other end to take you to the hotel. It's all taken care of baby."

Rayna threw her hat in her bag and zipped it up. "I can't believe this Deacon. I am so mad at you."

"I know Ray, but I'll see you soon." Deacon tried to kiss her but she pulled away just as they heard the honk of the car service.

"Let me grab your bag." Deacon picked up Rayna's bag and carried it downstairs and out to the car. Rayna breezed by him and into the back seat. Deacon leaned down towards the open window. "I'm sorry darlin', I'll be there soon though."

Rayna let out a deep sigh and let him kiss her this time. "See you soon."

##

By the time Rayna reached the airport her anger at Deacon was in full swing. She couldn't believe that he would do this to her. This was supposed to be their honeymoon, their time to reconnect after what had been nearly a year of extremely stressful days wondering if Deacon was going to die, then another six months or so of all the issues with trying to get pregnant. She felt so distant from him right now and it was making her heart ache. All she wanted was to feel him safe and secure beside her, and instead she was going to be a thousand miles away from him alone on some beach.

When she arrived at the terminal Rayna typed her name into the reservation station for self check-in. The ticket popped up and she read the reservation information. "First class, Nashville to Cancun with a stop in Houston." Hmm, "Cancun," she thought to herself. Suddenly it hit her, and a smile appeared on her face. There was no album emergency, this was a set up so that he could meet her later like he did the first time they'd gone down there. He was trying to recreate one of the most romantic trips they'd taken. As Rayna boarded the plane and took her seat she thought back all those years ago to that tiny beach town of Akumal.

_She'd been so heartbroken when Deacon ended up back in rehab. Those were still the days when she had total faith in his ability to kick the habit. She'd seen other people in the industry who'd ended up in rehab, but most of those people just needed the one trip as a wake up call. She'd hoped that would be Deacon as well, but when he got pulled over speeding through downtown Nashville drunk at 8:00 in the morning, and ended up with a DUI and court mandated rehab, she had to accept that this wasn't just a twenty-something kid partying too hard. Deacon was an alcoholic, and he needed real help._

_She hadn't wanted to leave him, but he talked her into taking the trip without him, and truth be told, she really needed the chance to get away and be by herself for a few days. The drinking had gotten out of control lately, and as much as she loved him, she longed for the sober Deacon who had the sweetest smile and the brightest eyes that could just bore right into her soul. _

_Playing the last few shows without him while he was in rehab was really rough, she felt like she never sounded right without him there with her on stage. To her, he and the music, they were always the same thing. No matter how good the replacement guitarist was, no Deacon threw her off kilter. _

_By the time she made it to Mexico she was missing him like crazy. The first thing she did when she got to the hotel was buy him a couple of postcards at the front desk and send them off to him. She knew it always made him feel better to hear from her while he was away. Also, she wanted to prove to him that she was capable of taking a trip without him, something she'd never done before. _

_She tried to be happy there. It was one of the most beautiful places she'd ever been; crystal blue ocean, sparkling sand, lazy palm trees. It really __**was**__ paradise. The first night Rayna headed to the bar with a book. She looked around at all the couples staring into each other eyes, leaning across the table to brush their lips against each other. Each couple acting like they were completely alone, none of them seemed to notice anyone else in the bar. _

_The waiter wandered over to Rayna's table. "Cerveza, Margarita?" _

"_No, vodka and cranberry?" _

"_Si senorita."_

_This became her routine for the next few days. She'd bring her book, Hemingway's "The Sun Also Rises," and read for a couple of hours before heading back to the bungalow, the sound of her crying herself to sleep only masked by the crash of the ocean waves._

_By the time she'd been there a week she was ready to go. All she could think about was how much she missed Deacon. She'd rather be visiting him in rehab back in Nashville's 40-degree temperatures than be alone another day. Not that she was 100% alone. A few men had tried to approach her both at the bar, and on the beach, but Rayna would pretend like she didn't speak whatever language they were talking to her in, and stick her head back in her book._

_Rayna was looking into changing her ticket back, but was having issues with the phone line. It had barely worked the whole time she was down there, and today was no exception. Instead she put on her white sundress and her cork wedges that she'd been wearing so often they'd left a permanent crisscross suntan mark on her feet. As with every other night that week, she took her regular seat at the table by the edge of the beach. By day two she hadn't even had to order anymore, the waiter automatically brought her a vodka and cranberry. _

_As she read her book she heard the sound of the ice cubes clinking as the waiter placed the drink on the table, but instead of walking away he said "From the gentleman at the bar."_

_Rayna looked up surprised. "What?"_

"_From the man at the bar." Rayna looked up and got the shock of her life. There was Deacon, faded jeans, cowboy boots, button down shirt sitting at the bar. Truthfully, despite this being a paradise with gorgeous vistas, and tropical flowers, he was the best thing she'd seen all week. She started to get up to see him, but he put up his hand stopping her. They did this sometimes, they'd play a game where he'd pretend to be a stranger and they'd act out a fantasy. When you've been with the same man since you were 16 spicing things up can be necessary. _

_It took all her strength not to run to him right away, run her fingers through his hair and sweep kisses across his face. God, he looked so good. He looked sober. When he finally made his way over a wave of concern hit her. "What was he doing here? How did he get out of rehab early? Was he going to be sent to prison when they got back to the States?_

_Deacon calmed her fears and before she knew it they were out on the beach dancing and she was wrapped up tight in his arms. They'd made love on the beach that night in a completely uninhibited and reckless manner. As he held her in his arms afterwards they watched a blackbird soar through the sky and land on a tree nearby. "I'd love to be able to fly like that bird," Rayna said. "Be that free."_

_Deacon shifted her so he was looking into her eyes. "You are that free. We're that free because we love each other, and nothing can stand in our way as long as we're together. We can do anything together baby." Rayna smiled and kissed him softly. The next day she woke up to find him playing guitar in the hammock outside of their bungalow. She threw on one of his t-shirts and ordered some agua fresca then went out to join him as he strummed away._

"_Can I join?" Rayna asked._

"_I think there's room in here for two." Rayna snuggled in next to him and they barely moved for the rest of the week. They wrote Postcards from Mexico as well as a song called Living Free that went on their next album. _

It was the best vacation Rayna could ever remember taking. Sure enough when the car picked her up at the airport it started heading down the coast and arrived at the little hotel in Akumal. The area was not quite as remote as she'd remembered it, she guessed that comes with the passage of time, and the arrival of tourists. She'd recently heard some of the country club set in Nashville talking about heading down to Tulum.

Despite all that, it still held its charm, and the hotel where they'd stayed hadn't changed a bit in nearly 20 years. She checked into the same bungalow where they stayed originally, with the same hammock outside. There was even a pitcher of agua fresca on the table. A package was laying on the bed wrapped up with a purple bow, and a little card that said "_Rayna_" on it. She sat down on the bed smiling and opened up the card. "_To my darling, on our honeymoon. May our love always make us feel as free as a blackbird_. " _– Love Deacon._

Rayna put down the card and pulled the ribbon on the package until it opened. She carefully lifted the top and in it was a white sundress and a pair of cork wedge sandals. "Ha!" she laughed. "He thought of everything."

Rayna slipped into the dress and sandals and sat in the hammock for a while watching the sea. At 9:00 she headed for the bar and there he was sitting at that same table by the side of the beach looking sexier than she'd ever seen him. He wore a grey chambray button down with the sleeves rolled up, a pair of jeans, and some leather sandals. Fancy for Deacon, she thought. Looking at him across the bar, all she could think about was how much she loved him, and how close she'd come to losing him forever. A tear ran down Rayna's face, and she wiped it away before heading towards him. "Is this seat taken?" she asked.

Deacon shook his head. "I've been waiting for someone as beautiful as you." Rayna sat down and took Deacon's hand in hers, holding it close to her and kissing it. "I knew you'd be here."

"When'd you figure it out?"

"When I got to the airport. As soon as I saw Cancun I knew you'd be here tonight."

"I caught the next flight at 1:00. Got down to Akumal around 7:30. I've just been hanging in the bar drinking seltzer. Rayna leaned in taking his face in her hands and kissing him. "I love you so much babe."

"I did good?" Deacon asked.

"Uh huh, you did real good." Rayna leaned in for another kiss.

Deacon spoke between kisses. "We should get some food."

"I don't need food. I just need you. Come on, let's go out to the beach." Rayna stood pulling Deacon behind her. He wrapped his arms around her as they walked. "Aren't we a little too old for making love on the beach."

"Never," Rayna said as Deacon moved his mouth over her neck and shoulders. "Do you remember what you said to me that night?"

Deacon pulled her even closer as they secluded themselves behind a palm. "Something like…I'm going to fuck you so hard the only thing you're going to remember is my name."

"Uh huh, I've been dreaming about that moment since I got on the plane."

"Well if you've been dreaming about it, I can't disappoint can I?" Deacon spun Rayna around so she was facing him, and before she knew it her dress was on the ground and she was naked with Deacon pressing her against a rock. "Now how is it that I'm naked, and you're still fully dressed?"

"Not for long baby, not for long."

The couple made love in the secluded alcove provided by the cave, just as they had years before. Later that night they lay in the hammock listening to the sounds of the ocean waves. Rayna was leaning back against Deacon and he had his arms and legs wrapped around her so there was barely a piece of them that wasn't touching. "This is the most relaxed I've been in ages," Rayna said.

"Me too," Deacon said kissing her neck while caressing her thigh. "It's been a long road since the last time we were here."

"Yeah, but worth it."

"Definitely worth it. I got to say, there were times when I doubted we'd ever make it back it here, but I'm glad I never gave up on us. Look at us now, two beautiful girls, successful careers, hell, we've got our own record label."

"Uh huh, and all the rough stuff, the addictions, the diseases, the mistake marriages, they're all behind us."

Deacon smiled and moved his hand to Rayna's face to tilt her head towards him. "Are you saying it's smooth sailing from here on in? How optimistic of you Mrs. Claybourne."

"Well, maybe not smooth sailing, but if we've made it through all those other things, there ain't anything we can't make it through as long as we're together."

"I like the sound of that," Deacon said.

The duo sat in silence for a while just taking in the sounds of the sea. It was a good life, and they both knew it.

**The End.**

**Hope you enjoyed it. I really had fun writing this story. Hopefully there will be some nice Rayna/Deacon moments in the back end of season three!**


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